Even Angels Fall
by MoonliteCrescndo
Summary: After the death of her lover, Kagome must enlist the help of personal bodyguard, Sesshomaru, to solve the mystery of why anyone would want to attempt to murder her father. With danger afoot and mystery aplenty, can romance ensue? *Complete*
1. Default Chapter

Hello everyone!  It is nice to be back in the word of fanfiction writers once more.  Please read my story and contribute to my review count.  I think everyone knows how wonderful it feels when someone actually likes something you've been working on for a while.  Well, let me tell ya—quite good!  Thanks and enjoy.

Disclaimer: I only show it once—If I owned InuYasha is would be called "Sesshomaru" and he would get Kagome.  *

Special thanks to:

Duo-chan: You are awesome and I appreciate you more than you know.   And ummm…I have posted it…?

SuppisTenshi: Well, come on.  What can I say to you?  Thanks for the advice…I did as I was told…

And now our feature presentation:

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Blood dripped.  All she could see, feel, touch and taste was the vermilion liquid dripping…dripping.  And then…

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Kagome stood alone in her father's house, still shocked by the red stains on her hands.  Distractedly she watched the life blood drizzle out of her outstretched palms to pool on the polished wood floor. 

 _In times of panic_, she thought to herself, _its funny one could still note the labor involved in cleaning up this mess.  _

         But she wouldn't clean up this mess, like so many of her others.  But she was the only one able to fix her last particular mess, and in cleaning up the previous one, she created another.  

"The story of my life" she muttered to herself, involuntarily glancing at the lifeless body before her.  Still shocked and slightly surprised that the gun still cocked in her hand hadn't drawn anyone's attention, Kagome allowed herself to finally break down and take the situation as reality.  

         She had killed the only man she had ever loved.

         Even in death his face still held an affinity for her heart.  His white, wispy hair was speckled in the sticky substance that once resided in his veins.  She had killed him with her own two hands.  And with the slight curl gracing his lips she started to remember the passionate kisses and nips he gave her in their stolen solitude.  The swollen red lips she had only just kissed the night before. The offensive hands that seared her flesh with fire, the muscular chest that provided desire at the mere thought. 

         But to him, it was all a game.  His touch, his kiss never meant to him what it meant to her.  To her—it was love.  To him—it was his job.  He was paid to seduce her, to bed her, to kill her father.  Kagome wasn't aware of the latter until an unsolicited warning from her lover's own dear brother.  

         _He_, she thought bitterly, _lived amidst all this pain.  HE survived unscathed.  _

She had to take matters into her own hands.

         And she did.  She arranged for her father to be away—unknown to his killer.  She arranged to be home on that day—unknown to her guards.  She arranged to kill him with his brother's stolen gun.  She arranged for everything but the mess—and the heartache.  

         Kagome knew what to do now.  It was the only think to do.  She bent down to her lifeless lover and hugged his bloodied body close and cried.  Tears streamed down her cheeks like a refreshing rainstorm in El Salvador.  

For once she had control.  For once she had taken care of her own mess.  And now all that was left was for her to lament.

         With one last strangled cry of new and swift grief she fainted just as Sesshomaru showed himself in the doorway.  

         With a glance about the scene, he voiced barely above a whisper one word…

"Inuyasha…"

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*Very well…it would be called "Sesshomaru-_sama_" and he would get Kagome.


	2. Chapter one

                  "I keep the word of the red geranium, as I have been taught, so long ago.  I keep the courage and determination deep in my heart."

_                                                                                                                              -Trigun_

Kagome awoke to her own delightful alarm clock sounding at 6:45.  

"Even after everything I still have to go to school…" She muttered through painfully clenched teeth.  

         After assembling herself in record time she actually had the pleasure of seeing a somewhat shocked Sesshomaru sputter into his coffee before composing himself. With a sly, cocky grin he said

"Off to school, are we?"

"Yes, so if you could be so kind as to drive me, then perhaps I won't be late…per usual…" But Kagome only received pure indifference as he picked back up the paper he was previously reading before a clear, decisive

"No" passed his lips.

"What?  I am going to be late!"

"For what?" Sesshomaru answered, clearly bored with the conversation.

"For school, you idiot, I just told you!"

"I'm not driving you today."  Kagome was about ready to explode, but he sent her over the limit when he asked,

"Could you bring me some more coffee, I'm fresh out."  And Kagome went…

"My father is going to hear about this and you better watch how you speak to me!  I don't need this from you, not after everything that has happened!" 

With that, she almost started tearing, but Sesshomaru respectfully put down his paper.

"Go back to bed, Kagome."

"You can't order me around!"

"To bed!" he bellowed.  "It's Saturday for goodness sake, woman!"  And she only managed a quick

"Oh" before she stomped back to bed, completely missing the maniacal glint in Sesshomaru's eyes.

"And so that, my friends, is how to not only be an ass, but to cement your future 'ass membership' for the rest of your life, thank you very much," Kagome though to herself before stripping and climbing back into bed for a deeper, if not more agitated slumber. 

When she awoke again it was well past noon.  This time she leisurely woke up, taking time to shower and dress properly.  When she went down to lunch this time, however, Sesshomaru was gone.  

_Good thing too, _She thought.  _I was ready to kill him.  _But then she remembered that that certain threat wasn't an idle one anymore.  

She could kill.

With the total absence of police she suspected Sesshomaru had taken care of the whole thing himself.  It was self-defense and luckily InuYasha's record wasn't clean.  But that is all she knew about it.  Even for the months while Inu had courted her, she never knew why.  He was a flashy sort of male, somewhat like a large peacock trying to attract a mate.  He was overly aggressive and his attitude proved he was usually not denied where women were concerned.  

And Kagome wasn't an experienced woman in the least, for her protected life didn't allow her much leeway in the dating world.  And it wasn't just the fact that he wanted her.  It was also the fact of why he had wanted her father killed in the first place.  Even though he was a Senator from New York he wasn't an overzealous politician.  He was a doctor that decided to go political when he has 35.  He was a peaceable man who had served as the American Ambassador of El Salvador from 1982-1990.  

"Perhaps I can ask Sesshomaru," she thought. "He would know more about his brother than I-right? But then she thought about the implications of this.

         Sesshomaru was in no way an ordinary bodyguard.  He has been trained since birth in all types of martial arts.  He was an expert gunman-trained in all sorts of artillery.  His reflexes were far superior to that of anyone Kagome had ever seen.  But other than this, he was highly educated-receiving degrees from Harvard, Yale and Princeton.  He knew over ten different languages.  He was, in fact, far too qualified a bodyguard to be protecting a lowly American Senator's daughter, but the reasons he stayed were his own.  

And other than his top-notch job skills, Sesshomaru was in all senses of the word-beautiful, hauntingly beautiful.  His amber eyes shined against the frame of his long white hair, usually pulled back in a low ponytail whenever Kagome saw him.  His body--probably due to rigorous training—was perhaps even more alluring that InuYasha's.  

And something Kagome tried to never admit to herself was that Inuyasha was in fact a replacement; that annoying voice in her head telling her that Sesshomaru was always first in her mind.  Perhaps that was why she was so allured to InuYasha in the first place-he was second best, runner-up to the man she could never have.

For Kagome knew of Sesshomaru's complete indifference-to her and everyone else.  She supposed the rigid training went even beyond the body and right into his soul.  His heart was cold and stony.  His face was always completely blank except for that infernal smirk of his.  And it seemed he only delighted in annoying Kagome to the fullest extent.  But even in that he remained cool and calm.  She wondered if he ever laughed, smiled or cried.  And if he did, she hoped he wasn't in the company of a woman.  Jealously panged in her heart.  

But he was cool and untouchable.  

However, even though he was stoic, she became close friends with him.  He was her bodyguard after all, and that entailed being around her more often than not.  Kagome found that she could confide in him with most things, for he was a good listener.  He never offered advice or comfort, but most of the time Kagome just needed to vent.  

But still unavailable.  So she let InuYasha in.

In all her musings Kagome has successfully made a sandwich lunch for herself.  And if on cue Sesshomaru sauntered in.  Being the ever-annoying older brother type he sat himself down across from her and helped himself to half her sandwich.  Through bites he murmured,

"Sleep well, Princess?"  Her stomach curled inwards at the pet name.  Just to make it worse, he called her cute names such as that usually reserved for lovers.

"Fine," she said, trying to scoot away from the table.  His white hair was all too close to InuYasha's—he had allowed her ample time to brush through his own locks once in a while—her fingers were simply itching to take up the practice on Sesshomaru.  So, naturally, it was time to get away-before she did anything stupid. But before she could leave his large hand closed around her arm.  His eyes flashed fire for a second before she questioned him.

"What?" He slowly studied her face and released her arm, albeit unwillingly.  He allowed himself to gently run his hand slowly down her arm, the slight touch almost arousing Kagome.  

"Nothing" he murmured.  He thought he saw something in her face that showed her feelings for him, but then it was gone.  When his amber eyes caught her green something changed again.  As if the table was never there he was suddenly standing in front of her.  Only putting his fingertips to the underside of her arms he tried to search her eyes to the depths of her soul.  But his training of her won out and he could scarcely read the tumult of feelings he knew were running over the surface.  

"Good girl, Kagome."  And with that he left her alone once more.


	3. Chapter two

"_He's got a wonderful sense of humour, my brother, making me spend the night with this animal. It'll really make his day when he hears what I've been through.  Just watch him—I'll bet you anything you like he'll look pleased."_

                                                                                 _-James Herriot_

_                                                                                          All Creatures Great and Small_

Sesshomaru was vaguely aware of anything while training, even the fact that he had enjoyed touching Kagome.  She was his brother's and he, however delectable, did not touch any leftovers from InuYasha.  Sesshomaru wasn't used to such desires and a carnal libido.  He trained, he fought, he protected.  His life was simple.  

Until he came to work for Kagome's father.

Even he didn't know why he came there.  Some tip or other promised him an interesting job full of surprises.  St first he had been apprehensive-babysitting a teenage girl was not something he wanted or learned how to do in his extensive training.  But curiosity got the better of him and he had stayed there ever since-against his better judgment.  Indeed he delighted in annoying the girl—it was far too easy for her won good—but he also felt an affinity towards her.  She almost seemed to understand how he worked, that under his cool, laconic exterior there was another Sesshomaru unknown to even himself sometimes.  

And the job wasn't dull.  Kagome got herself into her own share of scrapes, but in truth nothing had even been close to his expertise.  

Nothing.

Nothing until his brother.

InuYasha had benefited from the same extensive training as he, but with one so talented there are only a few job options; soldier, bodyguard and Inu's preference: spy.  But to put it in lames terms, thanks to the ever-eloquent John Cusack, InuYasha was a "professional killer."  Sesshomaru allowed himself a small smirk at this.  InuYasha, in his opinion, was anything but professional.  He had been arrested several times in numerous countries, murdered sloppily, and in turn was wanted all over the world.  In Sesshomaru's honest and scrupulous opinion, InuYasha was, in essence, entirely devoid of all sense.  The simple reason he still received such notoriety was due to his impulsive nature, which unfortunately for Sesshomaru, was usually correct. 

So it was quite a shock to see InuYasha moving in on Kagome six months prior to his expiration.  He immediately dismissed it as an actual courting ritual and focused on the real reason why InuYasha would be there. Sesshomaru's first though it could be to take care of him, but why would he need Kagome?  Of course, to Inu, she would be a nice notch in his bedpost-a bedpost; Sess had heard somewhere, rapidly needing more adequate space for future notches.  But the most likely theory had to do with the Senator himself.  The real mystery in turn was why Mr. …?  

And so he deemed himself inside the parameters of his job to do a little research on his dear younger brother.

Kagome was his second worry.  It had always provided him a little smugness in the thought that she fancied him.  But that daydream was lost when her attentions went to the first person that offered her a little romance.  And it provided him no comfort that InuYasha's physique so mirrored his own.  But InuYasha was opposite him in every other way.  Where Inu was impulsive, Sess was calculated. Where Inu was flamboyant, Sess was reserved.  Where Inu choose to play the field, Sess chose to be concerned about one thing: himself.  He wasn't narcissistic—altogether it was more of a trait of InuYasha's—he was more…dedicated.  Sess never had the luxury of receiving support from anyone.  So he came to only depend on himself.  

But Kagome, he almost trusted Kagome.  

When she dated Inu it was almost a betrayal even if he laid no prior claim.  He knew she still hurt.  He could see it in her eyes.

It was the same look she had that Friday night when she had softly asked him to go down to the store and buy her some much needed glue for a project.  He honored the request even though he knew there was a drawer full of gluing and project supplies just for the purpose.  He sprinted to the store and stole back stealthily into the house.  He heard the break in, a brief conversation and reached the room just in time to see Kagome shoot-once in the heart.  She had surprising good aim with her hands shaking so much.  He slightly registered the gun to be his own 16 caliber with a silencer.  Not shocked by death as she he allowed himself a smirk…

_She had good taste in guns._

_But the smirk quickly faded when he saw her collapse with the bloodied InuYasha in her arms.  After she promptly lost consciousness Sess disentangled her and with loving care bathed her, dressed her in her pajamas and laid her to bed.  She needed to rest._

_And then he set to work.  He called a contact on the force, explained the situation, took pictures of the body and expertly cleaned the sticky substance from the wood floor.  Sesshomaru was not a stranger to intensive labor.  After everything was taken care of he deposited the body in the police morgue and went home. _

By the time he had finished his train of thought, Sesshomaru had ended his work out as well.  

It was time he talked to Kagome. 


	4. Chapter three

                  _"I've always depended on the kindness of strangers…"_

_                                                      -A Streetcar Named Desire_

Sesshomaru found Kagome, if not she found him wandering throughout the halls of the mansion, sauntering in his non-committed way about everything. 

"Oh, hello.  I was looking for you," she said cheerfully, as if this morning had never happened.  He hated when she put on a mask to hide her feelings.

"We need to talk, princess."  His eyes said it all, red glinting in auburn.  She didn't like that look.

"Fine. Let's go to my room," she answered.  Kagome knew she would find comfort in some territory that was entirely her own, and by the look in Sesshomaru's eyes, she was definitely going to need it.

Sesshomaru, on the other hand, was slightly affronted by the suggestion.  He complied, but he knew her game—and he felt somewhat vulnerable.  When they arrived in her corner of the house and entered her room, Sesshomaru almost instantly colored.  Her room was messy, with clothes strewn about, her undergarments decorating the floor.  Blushing delicately, Kagome realized the state of her intimate territory.  

"Wait outside for a bit…" she muttered while hastily shoving everything into her closet.  _That wasn't embarrassing at all, was it? _She thought miserably.  And finally she took up position on her large four-poster bed and he across from her sitting a little straight-backed in her antique Victorian chair.

"What did you want to talk about…?"  There was a pause where Kagome could swear he was trying to have a staring contest, but she could barely meet his eyes.

"I believe its time for us to talk about InuYasha…"  Kagome's abashed attitude became even more apparent as her colors brightened to somewhat resemble the infamous French "red balloon." 

"Ask me anything you need to.  I guess you deserve that."  Kagome didn't want to fight with him, and her compliant attitude ashamed his blunt one. However much Sesshomaru didn't want to inflict pain on her, but in lessons of interrogation he had learned that in anger real secrets are involuntarily revealed.

"Very well.  Did you sleep with him?

"What?"

"Did you love him?  Did he whisper sweet nothings in your ear?  Did he give you what you wanted?"

"What,  are you insinuating I wanted my father dead?"  Kagome was fuming now.  Sesshomaru then pushed her over the limit. 

"Did you enjoy it?  Did he enjoy you?"  Sesshomaru's aim was simply to have her slip some important fact.  Instead, he got something else.

"No one takes me seriously!  No one did, except InuYasha." He gritted his teeth at this.

"He was paid to take you seriously."

"So are you," she bit back harshly.

"One difference, princess; you won't be able to kill me if it comes down to it."  

At this her face paled completely, but he provided nothing in the face of his unusual indifference.  But as she began to softly quake with tears, two strong arms surrounded her, both comforting and keeping any evil at bay outside the sanctuary of his embrace.  _How can I be so cruel and heartless to her?  How can I be totally stone faced? _Sesshomaru thought.  

After a while, Kagome whispered

"Why won't I be able to kill you?"  

"Because, Kagome, I am a professional."

Kagome didn't know how to react at all.  First he was purposefully baiting her and then he was holding her—with more concern and reassurance then one would have expected from him.

Kagome knew what he meant by professional.  InuYasha wasn't.  Their relationship-to him- started out as a façade, but she guessed it might have crossed over into reality.  Kagome wouldn't kid herself to believe he loved her.  InuYasha didn't seem capable of that.  But lusted after her?—yes.  Cared?—possibly.  However the only reason she was able to kill him was perhaps that he couldn't bring himself to kill her.  She supposed he was the first personal connection in his job he ever had.  And his last.  

But Sesshomaru, Sesshomaru had just admitted that he would never let emotions come before work. He had just crushed what little hope she ever had in having a relationship with him.  

He was a professional.

A professional like him would never date a girl like her. A gorgeous twenty-six year old man would never date a nineteen-year-old girl like Kagome.  

Sighing lightly, she tried to just relax in his arms.  At least she had this moment.  

Sesshomaru didn't want to comfort the girl, especially after his comment about being professional.  But was what he was doing professional?  Was what he was feeling professional?  He certainly hoped not.  One did not usually want to fuck your employer's daughter, nonetheless your own charge.  But that was simply his experience.  

He felt her shift in his arms, melting into his body.  He pulled her even closer, tucking her head under his chin and cradling her between his legs.  She smelled glorious—like a forest, the fresh scent on new life and vivacity.  Sesshomaru was resisting every urge to tumble her under him and accost her with the full force of his yearning.

However, he was saved the embarrassment by a rather large knock on the front door.  The spell broken, Kagome gathered enough of herself in time to hear a maid calling her about a large manila folder.  Sesshomaru followed, not quite sure how to react after the intimate scene and even more interested in the unmarked package in Kagome's hands.  Nevertheless, Kagome ripped it open with relish and drew the contents out.  

Her reaction was hardly happy.

She quickly dropped the folder and contents and ran up the stairs—back to her room.  

Sesshomaru glanced down.  Below him was a photograph in all its glory, framed tragically by the black marble of the floor.  

It was complete: InuYasha's body in Kagome's arms and Sesshomaru's large frame in the doorway, watching in the shadows.  

A white card read this:  El Salvador.


	5. chapter four

                  _"There is one thing, Emma, which a man can always do, if he chooses, and that is his duty: not by maneuvering and finessing, but by vigour and resolution."_

_                                                                                                   -Emma_

_                                                                                                            Jane Austen_

Kagome didn't notice Sesshomaru in the shadows.  It was InuYasha's body that had procured her reaction.  But when she rushed to her room she was distracted by what the card said.

El Salvador.

El Salvador, to Kagome, had been feed since birth in bedtime stories and nightmares.  To her this land of her birth was a dualistic society filled with the hypocritical upper class and a poverty-stricken lower class.  Kagome, being the daughter of a U.S. ambassador was subject to the droll and often unfeeling aristocrats.  

However, she was more interested in the peasants, the people who by the time she was seven were winning the supposed downhill battle against their corrupt government and army.  In fact, when Kagome though about it, she remembered that her father's life had been in danger before.  

When they lived in El Salvador.

So when Kagome was five, they packed their bags and a more docile ambassador replaced her father.  America couldn't risk another man like her father on the loose in a country where America funded the soldiers who murdered, rapes and pillaged the Salvadoran countryside.  And the School of Americas is where it all began.  Men such as Domingo Monterrosa, the most formidable men in charge of the war, was trained in this school for "soldiers."  Kagome preferred the freedom fighters, the men such as Archbishop Romero and Father Rutillo Grande.  Men whom believed in the fight for justice even when facing death.  And her father believed the same.  

Kagome moved to the U.S. with many changes.  Her father quickly ran for Senate to fight for aide for the people of El Salvador.  Kagome was forced to adjust to speaking English everywhere.  She had been raised with Japanese roots and Salvadoran tied.  And even though her tutors were the best her father could give, English and America held no passion for her.  She longed for the beauty and majesty of the Salvadoran rainforests, the monsoon season's rejuvenating rainstorms, and the bright and glorious stars.  At five, Kagome snubbed the skies of New York, full of pollution and strange smells.  Central park was simply a joke compared to the nature surrounding a small town by the name of Gaurjilla.  

A knock at the door stopped Kagome's reverie.  

"Come in Sesshomaru," she muttered, knowing full well it was he.  Indeed, Sesshomaru sauntered in with his usual stoic look.

"Did I interrupt something…?" his eyebrow cocked at this. 

"I was just thinking about El Salvador and my childhood and the disgusting event subjected on people who did nothing except request free elections and better wages for farming."  He smiled at her obvious annoyance. 

"Just checking if everything was…well, normal."  He was about to leave when she slammed the door closed before he could reach it.  _She is faster than I first believed, _he thought.  

With him pinned against the door by her arms on either side of his waist, Sesshomaru could hardly contain a laugh.  Kagome barely came up to his shoulders and her slight form was towered by his own.  

"Hold on a minute.  Did I just hear correctly?  Were you," she smiled devilishly, "perhaps…concerned about me?"  Her attitude was too smug for Sesshomaru's liking.  In an instant he had their positions flipped—his arms on either side of her head.  He smiled wolfishly. 

"Why does it matter to you, Kagome?"  He whispered seductively, his lips almost brushing her own.  His auburn eyes never left her own green ones.  

Kagome as afraid.  She had been teasing, but the look in his eyes seemed as if he could devour her in one bite.  Their bodies weren't touching; he was just hovering inches, centimeters away from contact.  

Kagome wanted him, yes, but not when it was pure lust.  She had that with InuYasha.  Now she wanted love.  So, she said the first thing that came to mind—anything to stop the insanity his closeness was creating on her nerves.

"I met Jimmy Carter once…" Sesshomaru inched closer. "He supposedly knew about everything that was going on in El Salvador…" their bodies came together.  "He didn't respond to the letter written to him by Archbishop Romero…" 

Kagome was pressed up against the door with so much force she could barely breathe.  She could feel every part of his body molding over hers and his extreme state of desire.  Her words were coming out in pants.  "I, I met Jimmy Carter when he was…the President" she scarcely murmured before he completely accosted her with his extreme need.  He nipped and smashed her lips to his, bruising them with his intensity.

"Oh Kagome," he groaned.  

Sesshomaru could hardly think.  He had her where he had wanted her since the day he met her.  And feeling her starting to submit made his sense go crazy.  Just kissing her felt like small pieces of glass pressing into his body.  The sensation was consuming, sharp, and so sensuous it was painful. 

Kagome, on the other hand, was having a hard time remembering why she didn't want Sesshomaru to kiss her, touch her or anything beyond.  

His hands had left the door to make a leisurely trip down her frame, enjoying the curves she supplied.  Soon Kagome couldn't stop her hands from working their way into his buttoned shirt and discarding it completely. 

Following her own vein, he removed her sweatshirt and jeans, leaver her bare—clad only in her lingerie.  He smiled at the sight.  _It's typical of her ironic behavior to have a messy room but matching lingerie, _he snickered to himself.  

Kagome allowed herself pleasure in the fact that she was living out one of her fantasies with Sesshomaru.  His body was always as she imagined it to be: strong and lithe—a man built for his job from the womb.

As Kagome's hands continued to rove over his torso, Sesshomaru's kissed became more wild and passionate—needy.  His hands worked on her bra while his mouth followed the line of her neck.  He sucked on caressed her delicate collarbone with his tongue, drawing a moan from Kagome.  He kissed around her locket, something that always surrounded her swan-like neck.  At this Sesshomaru could only do one thing: lead Kagome to the bed.

They said little except for the noises of passion.  Sesshomaru made quick work of the rest of their clothes, almost unable to fully comprehend what he was doing.  All he knew what the Kagome was the most beautiful woman he had ever see—her hair framing her face like an elegant portrait.  As he nudged her legs apart he caught her eyes.  With their orbs locked he gathered enough courage to begin to enter her passageway.  But before he could bury himself fully inside her sweetness he was impeded by her maidenhood.  For the first time in 26 years of his life Sesshomaru was completely surprised.

"Kagome…I…" he stuttered, befuddling his words, "you're a virgin?" 

Kagome delicately brought her hand to his face, stroking his cheek.  

"I waited for you…" she murmured.  

And in a second they were joined more intimately than ever before. _Even more than my brother…_Sesshomaru's heart cried joyously.  As he began to set a pace that suited his energetic mood he turned himself over to pure need and fulfillment.  Kagome moaned beneath him, unable to form any thought beyond the fact that he was actually able to fit all of his large self inside her and that it felt even more amazing than anything she ever imagined.  They rode the wave of desire until a white light pierced through the shadows and they joined each other in mutual oblivion.  

Spent and sated Kagome nestled into her first lover's embrace.

Sesshomaru thought that if it only got better after the first time, he might die of pleasure.  Gathering this new bundle to him his last thought before sleep claimed him was "mine, all mine."

However, sleep did not last long, for Sesshomaru, Kagome would soon learn, has stamina like no other man.  Finally in the wee hours of the morning he allowed her to truly rest, but promised more fun to come. 

 And with a wink and a wolfish grin, he was asleep.


	6. Chapter five

                           _"What do ya know?  Looks like you've been jilted!"_

_                                                      -InuYasha_

Kagome's alarm clock sounded like an annoying cat that early in the morning.  She was sore all over, but from what, she could not remember.  However, her memory was soon given a reminder when she was fully awakened with a sloppy kiss.

From Sesshomaru.

Naked.

In her bed.

He smiled and stretched and from the feel of it, quite ready to start their "fun" anew.  Kagome could hardly breathe.  

"You and I…"

"Yes," he answered, nuzzling her neck.  She almost giggled, but stopped herself. 

"I was a virgin," she stated.

"Yes," he started nibbling.

"How many times…?" Kagome was lightheaded.

"What, for you or for me?"  He was lying on top of her now.  The smile was still there, but there was now a fire in his eyes.  As he began kissing her she pushed up on his chest.

"You have to drive me to school.  Now."  

"No," Sesshomaru growled in annoyance.

"I have to go to school."  He was holding her down with his body and it was starting to have an affect on her.  He kissed her again and Kagome flipped them over so she was on top.  His eyes darkened even more.  But before he could react she jumped off and ran into the bathroom.  Through the locked door she yelled,

"Hurry up, I don't want to be late!"

Kagome made it to school on time.  It was a private, upscale private college—_nothing but the best for a senator's daughter,_ she groaned.  As Kagome rounded the corner of her class an arm snaked out and grabbed her wrist. 

"Kouga, I need to go to class."  A boy about her height and short brown hair stood in front of her.  He had a short history of being overprotective about her—believing she was his territory.  At first Kagome was a little flattered by his attentions, but then it just got downright annoying.  In fact, his prolonged holding of her wrist, which had somehow traveled to her shoulder and then to her cheek was something that she didn't need right then.  Breaking away from him quickly, Kagome was pulled back forcefully by her wrist again.

"What is different about you?  What happened?  Something is wrong…" He pulled her even closer, checking for bruises. 

_When is rain, it pours, _Kagome thought.  _I never have guys paying attention to me and then InuYasha starts off this chain of events.  How special. _She barely completed the reflection before she was ripped from Kouga's arms.

"She's mine!"

Sesshomaru had been parking the car while Kagome ran to class.  He allowed himself extra time to think about what was going on.  The night before had been amazing, wonderful, exciting, and passionate.  But it was too much.  He had a taste of heaven and now his appetite was wet for only her.  Only Kagome.  

But it was wrong.  

The girl was too young-a full seven years-she was under his protection, and he was a professional.  He would never allow emotions—even lust—to interfere. He would just have to control himself around her and perhaps have a little "cold turkey" to the fires of last night.  

But nothing can stoke the coals still cindering in his heart like seeing HIS Kagome in another's arms.  Before he knew it Kagome was in his embrace and he was growling.

Kouga didn't stand a chance.  He turned head over heel at the appearance of Sesshomaru and ran back to his class.  

Sesshomaru turned Kagome in his arms, hoping to get a chance to kiss her beautiful lips again but tears streamed down her face.  Concern washed over his features.

"What's wrong?" he asked.  She showed him her wrists where fresh scratches and bruised began to show.  

"You hurt me…" she was crying outright now.

"Kagome, I…"

"Stay away from me!  You got what you wanted so leave me alone!  This is only a job to you!  You are just like InuYasha…"  She took off—probably to the limo that is usually on stand by for her protection issues.  

Sesshomaru had to stop and slow down.  He could barely contain himself to not run after her.  Before he could completely comprehend what he had done he ran to the car and sped home.  

"If she doesn't want me to touch her then I'll make her come to me, touch me, want me."  He dug the gear into third with conviction.

Kagome indeed went home and she was currently ripping the sheets off her bed.  She stopped when she came to evidence of her virginity.  A small, red sport on her pristine white sheets.  That was how Kagome felt now, surrounded by a sea of infinite white, a red dot all alone in the world.  

Her mother was dead. 

Her father was always in D.C.

InuYasha was dead.

And Sesshomaru, Sesshomaru was…Sesshomaru.  Kagome had cared for him since she learned who he really was; a shy, gently, passionate man who is enchanted by books, an avid player of chess and secretly loves Ben and Jerry's Phish Food ice cream.  Kagome remembered watching TV together in the activity room in her wing of the house, wrestling in the gym and swimming in the pool.  Sesshomaru was her closet friend even though through all these activities he kept a professional air and a stoic expression. 

Until last night.  

He was annoyingly excellent in every aspect like she imagined.  He showed her pure and raw emotion.  He showed her just what she always wanted.  And he gave her even more.

And now she wanted to give that up.  There were other things more important than a night of supposed nothing.  Kagome was ashamed by her behavior of pure longing and need.  She was shamed she was showed so much emotion around him.

Kagome needed to go to the library.  She needed to think of something else.  Manchester House (Kagome called it this because she thought it outrageously funny to name her house as if in the Victorian ages.  It provided for an interesting made-up story that changed at every telling during boring political parties.  She even was subject to changing the name as she saw fit) held an extensive library, inherited from her mother's line (via a rich uncle who adored anything with two covers and words) There, perhaps, she could learn more about what exactly was going on.  

And it always helps to concentrate on other, well, mysteries. 

However, she was greeted with the international man of mystery himself who seemed to have the same idea as she from his comfortable position in the library.  She skirted him and went to work herself.  

Since texts on El Salvador seemed to inevitably find themselves in her library, there was a bounty of information just at Kagome's fingertips.   Picking a few of her favorites off the shelves she began to search through indexes for any mention of her father.  However, she was interrupted.  

"Ambassador White is joyous today as his wife, Esperanza, bears him a beautiful baby girl…beautiful is right…Princess," Sesshomaru whispered seductively.  Having her in that close of a proximity and not being able to touch her was getting to be unbearable.  Ready to read further he paused at some discrepancy…but was cut off by an annoyed Kagome…

"I do believe I wish to read something that may pertain to YOU."  He quirked his eyebrow to allow her to continue:

"_Unintelligence: The Plague that Haunts the Best of Us_

_         In contemplating certain traits in which I would like to find in my mate, I came across a certain, --delicately put--quality, in which I could not tolerate in any circumstance.  Give me an insensitive jerk anytime!  Bring on a lad with a bad temper!  Don't forget to include unattractive in the looks department as well.  Any of these are endurable-but a lack of intelligence—never.  It's horrific.  It's insane.  It's bloody well intolerable.  _

_         Coming to this conclusion has come from many personal experiences with the intelligent deficient.  Now, I must clarify.  When I use this term I do not in anyway mean the mentally disabled.  I am speaking of those annoyingly smart people who have no common sense or real intelligence.  Intelligence, to me, by definition is: Knowing something, whether from books or other areas, understanding the information, allowing time to process the information, able to make coherent thoughts about the information, able to make coherent thoughts that are not simply a rehash of the teacher's/book's/information source's lecture, and able to apply this newly acquired knowledge to your own life and experiences in a straightforward and un-arrogant manner.  My definition explained, I believe that being unintelligent by no definition means you aren't smart.  I have met many smart people who were unable to intelligently form their own opinions and shape their own worldview.  I also find that this particular trait leads to most of the other intolerable traits such as: arrogant/self-centered, greedy/materialistic, selfish, shallow, close-minded etc.  _

_         So, in conclusion, I do not believe I could ever attach myself to someone who is by my definition unintelligent.  I truly think that this is a tragedy, especially on a bright and influential mind, but what can be done?  You can never change a mate; so choose the right one who will last through the worst and best of times."_

Sesshomaru allowed himself his trademark smirk.

" I am betting that you are the author," he growled.

"Of course.  Just wanted to tell you why you aren't my type…" She meant to be facetious, he was her friend after all, but his mood darkened.  _Nice one, Kagome.  This is the man you lost your virginity to!  _She mentally berated herself.  But he was soon speaking again…

"We'll talk about this later…it says here that the girl was born in 1988.  That would maker her…"

"Fourteen," Kagome whispered, all jokes behind her now.  "And my mother my mother would be 53…"

She was sitting on the floor with books strewn about her.  As Sesshomaru bent down before her she raised her watery eyes to his.

"I told you once, you probably don't remember, that I would die to have a sister.  But the ironic part is that I did have a sister.  And she died.  Just like my mother."  

Sesshomaru gently brushed the hair off her face.  He desperately wanted to her to continue the story.  Not only would she be confiding in him, perhaps it could be another link in the mystery as well.  

However, she wasn't going to be sharing anymore today for she roughly pushed his hand away and collected her books.

Angry at herself that she not only almost revealed a part of her convoluted past but also that she allowed him to touch her again, Kagome stomped to the door.  She paused briefly and said,

"Forget about my reminiscing…" She breathed out to gain confidence as he stood and began walking towards her.  "And about last night…"  

Sesshomaru allowed himself a small grin.  She was his.

"I never want to repeat that again."

He froze as she continued.

"I would fire you but you are the best so the act is senseless.  You will still accompany me to school but we shall use the limo.  Our after school activities will not continue and the only place we shall interact intimately by necessity is when working on this case.  You are not allowed in my room unless under express permission by me…" Her words got shakier by the minute.  "And lastly, please refrain from touching me."  She let out her breath that she had unconsciously been holding which didn't bode well with the unsteady start of her monologue.  

Sesshomaru had closed the gap between them throughout all this even though her words wounded him.  He could deny it no longer.

Emotions had gotten in the way.

"Do you understand?"  Kagome squeaked out.

"All I understand is that I am a man who desperately wants to kiss the woman before him."  He them captured her lips, feeding her the passion and possession he felt for her.  

Kagome could barely think.  She was mentally patting herself on the back for being able to say that speech on minute and she was kissing the man she tried to deny in another.  

But before he could tumble her to the library rug she broke away from him and ran out of the room.  She had to stand her ground.  He can't hold a night of complete and utter bliss over her head.  It was simply irrational.  He had no power over her whatsoever.  However, her racing heart new better.  

"I hate men," she muttered.

Sesshomaru sat back down on the chair.  _Damn the idea of letting her come to me, _he thought.  Whatever it was she was about to say considering her family he would ponder later.  All he wanted to think about now was the very important fact that he snatched her locket right out from under her nose.  And she would be wanting it back, her emotions riled up and easily persuaded into anything.

"Perhaps I won't be sleeping alone tonight…" he thought delightfully.__


	7. Chapter six

Thank you for everyone who has been reviewing!  I enjoy it.  Please, more reviews!

-MC

                           "_Well, she has, however.  But now the cat's out of the bag!  I found out some things!"_

_                                                                        -A Streetcar Named Desire_

Kagome ran up to her room thoroughly disheveled.  Not only was her heart racing insanely fast but when she reached around her neck to find comfort in playing with her locket per usual she found it missing.  She frantically searched about the room but discovered nothing. 

And then she understood the mysterious glint in Sesshoumaru's eyes.  

Anger burned through every orifice of her body.  He did NOT know the importance of that locket. 

Kagome knew where he would be—especially if he expected to succeed in seducing her.  He may be a clever, talented bodyguard but he was still a man.  And she wasn't entirely naïve.  And to top it off, she knew how his mind worked.

So, that is where she found him, lounging on his window seat reading a book.  She had to be calm.  She had to have control of the situation.

"Where the hell did you put my locket?"  Kagome shouted, racing over to him and jumping on his stomach.  

_So much for being calm, _she quickly thought before she began searching everywhere for her locket: she went to no ends to find something that important.  During another impromptu search though Sesshoumaru's pants she felt something rise beneath her hands.  

Something very hard.

Glancing down, Kagome noticed exactly where her hands had wandered off.  

And by his reaction, he was enjoying her position straddling his thighs as well.  Cool terror coursed through her body as she slowly brought her eyes level with his own.  His expression was of complete calmness, but his eyes showed a tumult of red-hot lust and his hands kneading her hips were starting to hurt.  He quickly grabbed Kagome's bottom and rammed her against his burgeoning erection.  With his other hand he pushed himself up to kiss her.  Kagome unconsciously moved away and in the process wiggled, drawing a moan from Sesshoumaru.  Throbbing uncontrollably he was able to finally catch her lips in an ardent kiss, however the feel of tears against his lips proved to lessen his need.  Sliding her back onto his thighs he sat up fully, leaning his back against the wall.

"Please, please can I have my locket back now?" Kagome whispered. 

She then buried her head in the crook of his neck for comfort.  He was the closest thing she had to a boyfriend and even though the words were never spoken she drew reassurance from the fact that he could eventually become her boyfriend.  Sesshoumaru hugged her close and brought his hands to stroke her hair.  With his other hand he took out the locket from a pocket in his pants and placed it around her neck.

"Kagome, why is this so important to you?"  His tone was gentle and Kagome felt she could confide in him.  She sat up, sliding more comfortably into his lap.  He was still slightly aroused and her movements didn't help the situation.  But he willed his desire to dissipate as she began speaking.

"My mother gave it to me.  It was a gift for my fifth birthday.  She told me that one day I would find a sweetheart who meant enough to me to put his picture in the locket…she…she gave an identical one to my sister, but kept it for her fifth birthday."  

At this she almost choked on her silent tears, but Sesshoumaru had lifted up her shirt and was tracing soothing circles on the small of her back.  She shifted even closer, leaning completely against his body and resting her head on his shoulder.

"But then, one night, something happened.  A big fire, gunshots, soldiers everywhere.  We had stayed the night at the UCA because on the priests told us it was not safe to return home.  The shouts were deafening…my, my mother carried my sister out into the hall; my father and I close behind.  The fire was so hot and the stench of death was near.  To avoid soldiers my father and I ducked behind the bushes, silently mouthing to my mother and sister to follow.  They didn't see us.  And they were taken…"

She was crying outright now, but she gathered strength from his strong and intense embrace…

"The soldiers killed my sister instantly.  Her body was thrown into the air and splayed with their bayonets.  My mother was another story.  Father was still in shock from the fire for he had asthma and the smoke was parching his throat and making it hard to breath.  I was frozen in fear.  So when they took her away all I could do was stare as her screams pierces the night.  I still don't know what they did, but I don't think I ever want to know.  After the soldiers dragged most of the six murdered Jesuit priests out onto the grass they left, leaving my father and I free to leave.  The night was November 16, 1989.  I was five years old…

"You don't have to go on, " Sesshoumaru whispered tenderly.  To say that her story pained him was an understatement.  Not only was this beautiful woman stronger than he could ever imagine she was so courageous in telling her story so openly to him.  A man who, in the immortal words of Jane Austen, "had humbled her and lectured her and she had borne as no one could have borne it."   She was perfectly candid.  But he couldn't continue to see her suffer.

"Please, just let me finish, Sesshoumaru, please."  He kissed her forehead light in compliance.

"No one really knew we were there until they discovered my mother and sister dead.  I never cried about it, until now.  I put their pictures in my locket where a future sweetheart should be.  So I have them close to my heart at all times.  Perhaps, through me, they may live on…"

Her voice had reduced to simply a small whisper.  Sesshoumaru picked her up and placed her upon his bed.  Climbing in after her he cradled her in his arms and she hugged him close.  Before she totally fell asleep she muttered a small "thank you."

Sesshoumaru was disturbed by her tale, her past.  How could one so young ever hope to recover from something so tragic?  He hardly knew.  All he did know was that every day, every passing moment, his feelings for Kagome were growing.  This sunshine princess was melting his ice heart.  For sunshine she was, living her life to the standards she set for herself.  Never before had he wanted to be so close to a woman without having sex with her.  Never before was he actually interested and compassionate by a woman's dramatic rehash of her past. 

 But Kagome was different.  

She knew him, really knew him, before they slept together.  Usually Sess was a one-night stand kind of guy, but Kagome changed all that.  He spent all last night making love to her and he still wanted more from her.  He wasn't' bored.  In fact, he was even more intrigued.

And then came the mystery and her unintelligible past.  She was somehow a key to all this, and her story had convinced him even further that his hunch was correct.  But someone wanted them to know about El Salvador being the topic of interest.  Either friend or foe, Kagome and he were still on dangerous territory.  

Sesshoumaru lightly fingered her locket.  It was a traditional gold piece with her initials on the front.  Kagome unconsciously pulled him nearer in her sleep finally persuading him to join her in slumber.  And with a gentle kiss upon her nose he did just that, happy that even through all this confusion, Kagome still might yet be his.


	8. Chapter seven

                  "When angels fall from heaven they become devils…" 

_                                                      -Cowboy Bebop_

Kagome awoke again to two strong arms clasped around her waist.  She tiredly tried to struggle out of Sesshomaru's clutches but he simply drew her closer to his intoxicating warmth.  She was almost asleep again when he said,

"The only rule I'm breaking is touching you and I hardly think this is a crime."

Way to ruin the moment, Kag thought, not wanting to extricate herself from the warm covers for it meant actually going to school.  So she pretended that his comment was lost on deaf ears.  But once again, she was interrupted.

"But I guess that we are also breaking the whole 'intimate contact' rule as well."  

She could feel his hand creeping up her thigh and working its way into the hem of her boxer shorts.  She finally realized where exactly she was positioned.  Sesshomaru had her legs straddling his hips again, and her body was pressed familiarly against his own as she lay on top of him.  She didn't want to think about why she always found herself pressed so completely against his enticing body more often than not.  The shame of the first night still fueled her fury within herself.  And also she now held a hint of fear for his strength and obvious power over her.  So she rolled off him and tried again to untangle herself from his mass of sheets.

"Don't like breaking rules, do we princess?"  

His hand was still pawing the hem of her underwear, distracting her endlessly.  

"Like being a rebel without a cause, don't we now?" she muttered, eyes in slits trying to forget his maddening hands that were now climbing over her quaking stomach and up to her breasts.  As he reached her bra he quickly reached under and shoved it up, and leaned down to take her mounds into his mouth through her shirt.  

Kagome gasped, hating her body but knowing he knew her heart was beating out her chest.  

"Oh, Kagome, I think this rebel has just found his cause…" he whispered against her breast, sliding his hands back down her body to remove her shorts and shirt, leaving Kagome only clad in thin underwear.  Sesshomaru then positioned her above him again, legs draped over his thighs.  

Kagome could barely move.  His delicious mouth was caressing her more softly and arousingly than anything before and he still had yet to kiss her lips.

Sesshomaru took advantage of her slight pause to remove all his clothing and as he began tracing a path to her lips with his kisses he rubbed his erect manhood against her hips, the thing layer of cloth his only barrier.  

Kagome moaned loudly as she felt her hips starting to push against his dry thrusts and his lips finally met hers as he groaned loudly in response.  

Sesshomaru hardly had time to comprehend what was happening.  At one moment he was teasing her and the next he was only a simple article of lingerie away from total and complete bliss, heaven, paradise and all thoughts beyond.

Kagome began whimpering, needing to feel Sesshomaru inside her deeper than ever before.

"Please, please, Sess, I…" he ripped through her panties.  With one last look he thrust up into her eager passage and Kagome had to grip his shoulders as she almost choked from the force.  He rocked powerfully insider her again, gathering his knees upwards and clutching her hips.  With his hands he guided her up and down on his shaft until she was able to mimic the movement on her own.  As she began to take control he groaned her name into his bedroom.

Kagome felt like a goddess astride a raging mustang.  He was large, powerful and wild but with each movement she was taming his torrent of desire.  Finally Sesshomaru could take it no longer and he took control again, flipping her over and almost withdrawing, only to slam her into the bed again.

Her moaning only encouraged him further as he picked up his pace and pounded into her divine channel. 

"Mine, mine" he changed over and over again as he moved his body skillfully over hers.

But then the crest swelled and the wave broke, screaming each other's name into the morning light.  He collapsed on top of her while the aftershocks were still affecting their bodies.  After he caught his breath he said,

"Kagome, princess, that was amazing.  It was…ineffable."  He didn't want to leave her body so soon, but as he withdrew her inner muscles clamped down on his member.  

"Oh, wow" he moaned, almost ready to begin anew at that simple movement.  

"Kagome, don't do that unless you want to spend the entire day between the sheets."  

As he thought back to what they just shared and noticed the result of this train of thought, Sess was beginning to think a whole day in bed with Kagome wouldn't be that bad.  In fact, he was quite sure, pausing to control the desire to have her immediately spread eagled and moaning underneath him again, he would enjoy it immensely.

After she totally recovered, Kagome got up silently and began to dress herself, doing her best with her shredded underwear.  When she was finished she could barely bring herself to look at Sesshomaru.  She didn't want to think about anything, especially what they just jointly experienced.  She didn't want to face him.  

Sesshomaru was a little upset.  They had just shared one of the most rewarding sexual escapades of his life and she was still walking away.  

"Why?" he could only whisper.

"Please, please let me go.  I can't do this anymore."  Kagome whimpered.  Her back was turned to him with a hand on the doorknob.  He shot out of bed and came to her side, neither minding nor noticing his nakedness.  He tried to touch her face but she turned away from the touch.

"Why?" he asked again, not fully understanding her minimal answer.

"Because…because…" Kagome didn't want to admit it was because she was falling in love with him and she was too much of a coward to expect anything or ask for anything in return.  So she said something that she knew would get her point across.

"Because you're unintelligent.  And this time, I'm serious."  She took his shocked expression as her ticket to freedom and left quietly.  She was too naïve to not fall in love with him.  He was just about her first everything.  But she wasn't naïve enough to believe that he could lover her back.  After all, he told her himself: _I am a professional.  _And she was nothing to him except an annoyingly boring job and a good tumble in the sheets.

Nothing.

Sesshomaru leaned back against the closed door.  This wasn't supposed to be.  This wasn't how he was supposed to feel.  He was supposed to be the one who walks away. He was supposed to be in control.  

He wasn't supposed to find hope and faith and love.  

And she definitely wasn't supposed to take it away.

An uneasy realization stopped Sesshomaru's hand centimeters away from the doorknob.

"I love Kagome…"

"Or at least I am falling in love with her," he muttered as an afterthought,

And the pain that she didn't want or love him in return was completely unbearable.  It was ripping him apart and he had to slide down to sit with his back still against the door.  Bringing his head between his knees he allowed himself some solace in the fact that he now knew heaven existed.

However, he was cast abruptly from heaven.

Now he was only a fallen angel…


	9. Chapter eight

Well, thank you all.  Seriously. Wow.  Thanks for the reviews.  Please review more though.  It totally helps me post sooner!  

-MC

And yes, Sesshomaru had to train Kagome in some of his arts (i.e. interrogation techniques) if he wants her to be able to protect herself when the situation arises.  Any good bodyguard would do that for his or her charge!

"It means buckle your seatbelt Dorothy, because Kansas is going bye-bye"

-The Matrix

Let us consider the mystery, for this was truly the concern for Kagome.  Her father was to return on Monday and Kagome's week passed by rather rapidly.  She went to school and at night papers and make-up notes from the day she missed that Kagome had barely any time to consider the problem always distracted her.  

However she ad somehow found time to distract herself with thoughts of Sesshomaru.  After she left his bedroom that fateful day she took a shower to cleanse herself from the interesting mishaps of the morning.  She took the limo alone and didn't see him until lunch where he surreptitiously ate with the gaggle of other bodyguards (her college was attended by many important people…) and left her to fend for herself.  Kagome sat with her interesting friend Sango and tried to ignore Sesshomaru's stares throughout eating.  

He accompanied her in the limo after school, making sure to sit far away but still across from her.  The silence pierced her like a knife and as they passed the pool she wistfully thought of a time when Sesshomaru wouldn't think twice about taking her there.

And the rest of the week was spent in much the same fashion.  There was one beguiling situation where Kagome tripped and Sesshomaru immediately slide his arm around her waist and carried her up the stone steps of Manchester house and into Kagome's room.  As he laid her on the bed her undid her shoes and was surprisingly gentle with her ankle as he inspected it for injuries.  He declared her well quietly, allowing his hand to linger on her ankle a little more than necessary.  

It was the first time he had spleen to her since she pleaded with him to let her go and she told him he was unintelligent.  

Then he walked out of the room and a maid brought up an icepack afterwards.  

Other than that, Saturday couldn't come quickly enough and Kagome found herself in the brisk morning, walking towards the city library—anywhere where Sesshomaru wouldn't be able to find her and follow her silently with his eyes.

But Sess, anticipating this, was able to follow her quite easily in the car.  No matter how nonexistent she wanted their "relationship" to become he still had a job to do.  And if his intuition was correct-which it usually was- Kagome was going to need him.  

So he too found himself in the gloriously huge library, watching over the object of both his duty and affection.  

Kagome found the El Salvador room quite easily considering she had never been there before.  She ascertained the feeling of slight flattery when she discovered there was a whole drawer of references on her family alone.  Not only had her father published book on his experiences, Kagome had published some writings of her own.  As painful as they were to read, she had to research something.  So, she took out all her father's books and set to some very excruciating work.

Sesshomaru, on the other hand, growled at the fat that the library had country rooms.  He could hardly walk into the small space without her knowing he was there.  So, staking out a spot where he could clearly see the door, he lifelessly flipped through nearby books to pass the time.

It had taken two hours for Kagome to search through one book her father wrote before an elegantly dressed man distracted her with a black ponytail tied loosely at the nape of his neck entering the room.  He was handsome in that annoyingly distracted way that most men take for granted.  He seemed almost oblivious to his good looks where Sesshomaru knew of his explicitly.  The man was young-hardly 25- but eluded a sense of wisdom beyond one of those few years. 

 Kagome snuck another glace from between her hair-a move she unconsciously learned from Sesshomaru.  The man gently smiled at her and then turned to look at the books.  Slightly embarrassed he had caught her "ogling his goodies" she went back to work, taking notes diligently.  Her method was simple.  She would write down any act that could provide her father with enemies.  

She was about to write down another when the man was suddenly too close.  He was kneeling right next to her chair.  She was about to comment when he grabbed her hands and dragger her under the table with him. 

"What!' she yelped before he clasped warm hand over her mouth.  She tried to struggle, but he spoke.

"Kagome, Kagome…stop struggling!"  With one hand over her mouth Kagome was able to break free of his grip.  He quickly grabbed both her wrists with his own.

"Stop it!  I don't know who you are!" Her voice was becoming louder.  With both hands used to hold Kagome down, the man had nothing to silence her with.

"Anyways, how do you know my—" Kagome was unable to say before his mouth covered her own.  It wasn't entirely a kiss—he was simply trying to silence her—but his lips were warm and inviting.  Entirely distracted, Kagome forgot to struggle while he pinned her arms behind her back with one strong hand.  The man, noticing her shock slowly brought the "kiss" to a close with a playful lick against her lips.   Thoroughly confused, Kagome just sat and stared.

"Well, now that I have your attention…"

Kagome, eyes still glazed was snapped back to reality with his lips over hers again.

"How dare you! You…you…" Kagome shouted, upset.  The man smiled.

" Obviously there is an on and off button here…" he muttered before he grabbed her chin and kissed her a last time.  

Kagome was still dumbfounded.  She shook herself out of it.  _It wasn't THAT good of a kiss, anyway,_ she thought. _And Sesshomaru…_but she didn't allow herself to dwell on that too long.  

"As fun as this is, I really need to talk to you quickly about something…" He said smiling in a way only a man assured of his sexual prowess could.  Kagome was about to intercede when he quietly tapped his lips with a knowing grin.  So she silenced herself again.

"My name is Miroku and I was the one who sent you the pictures…"


	10. Chapter nine

Thank you for all who have been reviewing.  And please continue!  Y'all make me want to write faster!

-MC

_"See this woman, Bono? I love this woman.  I love this woman so much it hurts.  I love her so much…I done run out of ways of loving her."_

_                                                                                                -Fences_

_                                                                                                            August Wilson_

Kagome sobered quickly.  With so many questions she spouted out the first one that came to mind.

"Did you know…InuYasha…?" Her eyes were so large and innocent Miroku almost kissed her again.

"Kagome, I will explain everything later.  But first please go back home.  I shall meet you there.  And don't go alone.  Sesshomaru is waiting outside.  I need to speak to both of you."

He helped her up and then walked out.  Kagome silently gathered her notes and did the same.  She glanced around and glimpsed a lock of white hair from behind a bookshelf before it entirely disappeared.

"This is going to be fun…" she muttered. 

Kagome wasn't quite sure if Sesshomaru would let her find him and an even bigger stretch to talk to him.  So she took a roundabout way, swiftly sneaking up on him from the opposite side.  

He was glancing at her when she snuck around the corner.

_So much for surprising him…_she thought.

He took a quick glance around and said,

"Oh darling, there you are…you look cold, let me put my jacket around you." As she mutely complied he leaned down and whispered, "We're being watched, just play along…its just acting," he added.

The barb wasn't lost on Kagome but she nodded and put her arms around him while burying her head under his protective arm.  Sesshomaru leaned down and kissed her forehead.

"No isn't that much warmer?" he said smiling as they walked out.  The smile immediately turned into his stoic expression and he picked Kagome up and jogged to the car.  He threw her on the seat and jumped in, revving the car into drive as he tried to blend in with the other cars leaving the parking lot. They wordlessly drove home, but Kagome was still amazed at Sesshomaru's tenderness.  

_It was just acting Kagome! _She told herself, _When he got the opportunity he threw you in the car!_

Once in the garage he opened the door for her and then pressed her against the car, his body towering over her own.  

"You will talk to me now.  Who was that man in he room with you?"  He had his teeth clenched and he ground out the question.

Sesshomaru had heard Kagome's shouts in the library but couldn't go to her without giving away his position to the two men who had been watching the door suspiciously close.  When the man with the black hair came out one followed him and the other waited for Kagome.  They obviously knew what she looked like, but it seemed that he, Sesshomaru, was still a wild card.  So he played it to his complete advantage and got Kagome out of there.

Surmising that they probably knew InuYasha he used the fact that from behind he and his brother were similar looking to the fullest extent. He only hoped they hadn't learned of his dear brother's death yet.  And if they did, they still wouldn't know who he was.  Either way, Kagome would be safe for a little while.

Kagome couldn't think clearly from the distraction of Sesshomaru's warm body against hers so perfectly.  She seemed to just simply mould into him.  However, she was saved an answer when Miroku stepped out from the shadows.

"Don't worry, Sesshomaru, she was quite safe with me…"

A little annoyed that the time he was closest to Kagome in a week was interrupted he moved away from her warmth and confronted Miroku.

"Oh, it's you, Monk.  What do you want this time?"  However Sesshomaru gave him a look that clearly read that he wasn't quite sure Kagome was safe in his hands.  Miroku smiled wolfishly before answering.

"You know as well as I that my days as a monk are over.  And as to what I did, you an ask the girl yourself…"

As the men glared daggers at each other, Kagome became infuriated.

"What are you talking about?  You two KNOW each other?  Why didn't you go talk to HIM first, Miroku…"

As she continued Miroku whispered to Sesshomaru

"Watch this…" Miroku abruptly grabbed her and kissed her in the middle of her tirade.  Kagome was quiet once more.

"Now that's the most effective way of silencing her," he said with a sly grin.  

Sesshomaru, to say the least, was not happy.

"She's mine!" He pushed Miroku out of the way and grabbed the stunned Kagome, holding her possessively against him in a manner reminiscent of the first time he declared she was his.

"Tut, tut, now you had a brother…didn't you ever learn to share?"  

"ENOUGH!" Kagome yelled from her prone position in Sess's arms.  Brusquely pushing herself free, Kagome marched to the steps leading up to the house to gain height.  And talking down to the two older men as if they were bad little boys she said…

"You," pointing a finger at Miroku, "will refrain from kissing me.  And you," turning to Sesshomaru, "will stop claiming me as yours.  I belong to no one.  Now lets go into the upstairs living room and talk about what is really important: El Salvador!"

She stomped away to end her statement effectively.  Sesshomaru was about to follow when Miroku glided past.  Over his shoulder he said,

"What a little spitfire we have on our hands.  I bet she is a wildcat in bed.  I hope you haven't mated her yet, Sesshomaru, it would be such a loss…"

Sesshomaru groaned at the thought. 

"Yes it was a loss…"

Kagome was sick of men.  She was sick of everything that they stood for.  She was still mourning over her love for InuYasha, her first kiss her first boyfriend.

It wasn't that Kagome was ugly, but she wasn't exactly model material either.  She had big hips and thighs.  She was curvaceous, but not overly so.  Her hair was raven colored with sheen.  She had freckles across her nose and spotting her body.  She was white, pale.  However, the mix of an El Salvadoran mother and a Japanese father gave her an exotic look.  But Kagome's inner radiance and soul was her best attribute.

And Kagome as still entirely confused about Sesshomaru's role in her life.  He was her first lover and even though she confessed no ties it still felt wrong for Miroku to kiss her.  She also hardly understood his possessive behavior towards her.  She knew she was his charge—he was paid to be protective.  But constantly pointing out Kagome was his was kind of overkill, right?

Even during their liaisons he had moaned that she was his.  "Mine," he had said.  Was this something men usually did while making love?  She could hardly tell anymore.  Just thinking about Sesshomaru in that way gave her shivers.  Sess…that was what she had called him.  He didn't seem to mind the intimate nickname either.

Kagome sat don in a huff on the couch.  She hated her overly feminine mind.  It always tried to explain things farther than men really mean.

"For goodness sakes, Kagome, he could have been referring to anything of his.  Who knew what he was thinking about?"

Kagome shivered again.  Something inside her knew he wasn't referring to anything else but her.  And what he made her feel that morning was still vivid in her mind…

"Kagome!" she mentally berated herself.  "There is no reason for you to get all hot and bothered over nothing."  

But as Sesshomaru sauntered in with an interesting look on his face she involuntarily gasped.  Ears alert to the sound, he gave her a questioning look.  When her only response was her rapid breathing Sesshomaru immediately knew what she had been thinking about when he walked in.  And the thought made his blood boil…

Kagome noticed the flash in his eyes but before he could move she whispered,

"Miroku is coming…" distracted, Sess knew she was right.  He gave her a nod and then answered as he sat down,

"We'll finish this later."

"Finish what later?" Miroku said cheerfully.  He had watched the whole exchange and frowned inwardly.

_Such a loss, _he thought.


	11. Chapter ten

"If you take the red pill, you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes…"

_                                    -The Matrix_

"InuYasha was a freelance spy, if you can put it in those terms," Miroku explained.   "He would anonymously be given a target and paid through numerous bank accounts he set up for himself.  He worked alone and did pretty well for himself…" he paused.  _Until he met her…_Miroku thought silently, glancing at Kagome.  

But he continued, "This time, nothing was different, however his assignment was unusual…for he had two targets instead of one…"

Kagome gasped.  She had been a target?  Suddenly everything became clear…

InuYasha had wanted to tell her something all day.  He had sent her roses at the house claiming he would pick her up for dinner around seven.  However, when he arrived, she soon discovered that he had made (or bought, she was never quite sure) a picnic dinner and brought her to the small park near her house.

_They ate silently, just enjoying each other's company.  When she finished, InuYasha took her hand in his._

_"Kagome, I would never hurt you, you know that, right?"  Kagome was confused but she nodded, allowing him to continue._

_"I might have to leave for a while.  I'll come back, but will you, will you wait for me?"  His sincerity stunned her.  She nodded in assent before she kissed him breathless.  _

_They almost made love that night, but InuYasha claimed he wanted to wait.  "They had time," he said._

_The next day Sesshomaru told her about his target.  And two days after that, he was dead._

Miroku continued, not noticing Kagome's distress.  Sesshomaru, who never moved to sit during the exchange moved to stand beside her chair.  He placed his hand upon her shoulder for some sort of comfort.  

Kagome visibly relaxed with his familiar touch and unconsciously rubbed her cheek against his fingers.  It was brief, but the action spurred both Sesshomaru's confidence and comforted Kagome.

"So InuYasha did the smart thing—he courted Kagome.  Once he had her, or you, your father would be easier to kill…"

"Why did he need to kill Kagome?"  Sesshomaru asked.

"I don't know.  The person who hired him is still anonymous."

"Then how do you know this information?" Sess growled out.  Miroku only smiled.

"Are you sure you want her to know?  It doesn't paint a pretty picture of you, now does it?"

"Just say it Monk, you know as well as I that I don't know the full story."  Kagome rubbed her cheek against his hand again as Sesshomaru's grip tightened.  Now she was comforting him.

Miroku tried not to be sick.

"Very well," Miroku smirked. He didn't mind telling the story at all.  

"InuYasha and Sesshomaru were orphaned at a young age.  InuYasha was three and Sess was seven.  At the time in Japan, a government-funded operation was collecting orphans to use as experiments in war training.  After the war with America Japan wished to be isolated again, but secretly trained for a day when they could fight back.  These "students" as they called them, were well taken care of.  They were given the best education money could buy, fed and clothed—but in turn they learned the art of murder."

Sesshomaru's grip was starting to hurt, his knuckles white with the pressure.  Still Miroku continued.

"They learned every combat skill known to Japan.  They learned how to use weapons of any kind.  As training, they would pick the weakest of the group and made him the target for the others.  This promoted students to train harder—or loose their life to boys they considered brothers."

Kagome inwardly gasped.  _No wonder Sesshomaru didn't like ties with his work.  He knew he might have to eventually kill them_, she thought.

"Sesshomaru was the top of his class.  They sent him to America as a student at the most prominent universities when he was only seventeen.  He spent six years here, training with a master who accompanied him.  As you know, he arrived a year ago to work with you.  But what you don't know was that after he returned to Japan he was expelled from the government project after they deemed him unacceptable.  They couldn't kill him—he was too good for that, so they bugged him.  He quickly got rid of that, I am guessing, and has been on his own for two years before coming to you."

"You do your research well, Monk."  Sesshomaru growled.

"InuYasha, at the time, took Sesshomaru's place as top "student."  They bugged him too and kept close watch as he studied abroad.  But Inu was running his own business on the side, a murder business…and that is how he met you."

Kagome was piecing the facts together.  However, once piece did not fit.

"If this was top secret in Japan, how were you able to find all this information?"  She questioned.  Miroku opened his mouth to answer, but Sesshomaru stopped him.

"She doesn't need to know that, Monk."

"She has a right, Sesshomaru.  She needs proof that my info is good."

"Fine, but I'm leaving," he left swiftly to his room and closed the door.  Kagome was too interested to check on him immediately. 

"You see, Kagome, as a welcome home present the project decided a little hunt and kill game was in order.  Sess was left alone to hunt for the weakest in the project.  He hunted for two days and then he found the man.  He had him cornered, but he didn't shoot."

Kagome looked at him, a puzzled expression marring her face.

"Don't you understand, Kagome?  I was the one brother he couldn't kill…"


	12. Chapter eleven

_"Without you, today's emotions would be the scurf of yesterday's."_

_                                                            -Hipolito_

Kagome sat in bed processing everything Miroku had told her.  Pushing InuYasha aside for a moment she allowed herself to ponder his brother.  

He had silently gripped her shoulders while Miroku told her more about him than she ever imagined she'd know.  

Sitting up, Kagome suddenly had the urge to talk to the man herself.  So dragging a sweatshirt over her thin undershirt she tiptoed over to his room.

Without a sound she opened the door.  Kagome was surprised to not only find the door unlocked but finding him asleep was another shock.  She made her way over to him and studied his face.  He seemed peaceful, but the death grip he had on the pillow showed her all.

"Even in sleep he hides his feelings…"

Kagome slid into bed with him and nudged his slumbering form close.  She wanted so desperately to understand the man she held in her arms it hurt.  With noiseless tears she hugged him even closer.  Kagome wanted to save him from the horror of his dreams.

Sesshomaru awoke to wetness on his face.  He instantly felt tiny arms surrounding him even though the body quaked with tears.  He breathed in the scent.

Kagome.

He started to shift from underneath her to wrap an arm about her waist.  With his free hand he brushed away her new tears.

"Kagome, why are you here?" he whispered, afraid that he would scare away his dream girl.

"I wanted, I wanted you to tell me why you couldn't kill Miroku."  Her arms tightened around his neck, as if she too was afraid of loosing him to some unknown source.  

Sesshomaru lost the internal battle that screamed she didn't need to know this much.  So he could only begin…

"Even though I was the fastest and the smartest fighter, I never killed the victim.  I caught the boy, yes, but I never killed.  I would say I was saving the kill for the other boys, but really I was just too scared…"

He gulped.  Kagome was rubbing his naked back in a perfect imitation of his soothing motion.  Sighing, he went on.

"The masters didn't care if I killed or not in the simulations.  They expected it from me eventually though.  After six years of being away it was sort of a test.  They were testing to see if I could kill…and if my "talent" had varnished throughout the years.  So…I went.  The game was usually for the weakest student, but it took me two days to find Miroku."

Sesshomaru sighed again, remembering the event.

When I found him, tied to a tree, I know he wasn't the weakest student.  They had beaten him severely for evading me for so long and caught him with the chip they use to track every "student."  It was a test I could not pass, especially when it was so easily given to me.  I dropped Miroku off at a local shrine where the monks accepted him.  Then, I returned for my punishment.  I had removed his chip and failed to kill the target.  The punishment was death."

Kagome's arms tightened again and he went on, desperately trying to finish.

"For three weeks I was hunted, but no one could find me.  I had managed to remove my chip in the process so the masters couldn't find me either.  I escaped and soon after they officially expelled me.  I can never return to Japan without risking my life."

Kagome buried her head into his chest.

"What happened after that?"

"I simply became a hired bodyguard.  My fake credentials as serving the ambassador in Japan were flawless.  I went around different people for a while until I came here from a tip of Miroku's."  

Kagome's tears had stopped, but she still wanted to comfort him—let him know she would be there fore him.  So she quietly moved to straddle him and with her fingers traced the outside of his lips.

"Kagome, I…?"

"Shhhhhhh…" she silenced him with a gentle and comforting kiss.  It was slow and deliberate; her lips parted his carefully but with full intention of continuing. 

While she kissed him, Kagome's hands ran up and down his chest; she seemed to be memorizing every muscle and inch of his skin.  She wordlessly removed her clothes in a tantalizing fashion while continuing to kiss his neck and mouth in that slow manner.  

She then seductively reached for his boxers and tugged them off as well.  Kagome then began to kiss and lick every part of his chest and arms, worshipping his body with her warm mouth.  She then returned to his face, gently kissing his forehead, ears, cheeks, nose and eyes.  Every movement was sensual and arousing to Sesshomaru.

When she finally revisited his lips, however, Kagome began to break out in tears once more.  Sess brought his hands to travel up her waist and to link around her back.

"Kagome, you don't have to do this.  I know you care for me…as a friend," he added as an afterthought, not quite sure what to refer to her as.

His one and only love?

"I know," she whispered against his lips.  "But please, make me forget, if only for a night.  Please, Sess, please make love to me."

Sesshomaru was overcome by the raw emotion from Kagome.  But as much as he wanted to, he couldn't bring himself to do it.  He needed her comfort now more than never.  He needed to be equal with her.  He needed her to give as well.  

"Kagome, I need you to make love to me too.  Can you do that?"  

It wasn't directly asking for her love but it was as close as he could come to it.  Kagome noticed the need and desperation in his voice.  She paused, knowing that she could never turn her back on him after this.

But at that moment, she knew she never wanted to.

She started kissing him again but he pulled her back once more.

"Are you sure?"  Kagome looked at him and smiled.

"Yes, I'm sure."

They made love that night, slowly and full of meaning.  Even though they did not speak the words, love was shown in every kiss, embrace and caress. 

 When they almost reached the pinnacle, Sess made Kagome open her eyes.  He intertwined their fingers pressing her hand to his chest.

"You have my heart," he whispered meekly.

"And you have mine," she answered.

Then they were both lost in that lover's paradise reserved in the heavens.  


	13. Chapter twelve

_"Silence is the perfectest herald of joy.  I were but a little happy if I could say how much…"_

_                                                            -Much Ado About Nothing_

Sunday was an awkward awakening.  Sesshomaru woke first, happy to just stroke her hair while she slept.  But when her eyes fluttered, he became afraid that she would want to leave him again.  

He couldn't bear the thought.

He gently kissed her but she broke away and ran into the bathroom.

"Well, that's the answer to my question," he thought sadly.  _What did I do wrong…_

But then Kagome jumped back into bed and captured his lips into a deep, drugging kiss.

"What?" he murmured, breathless.

"I had bad breath…so I just went and brushed my teeth."  Laughing at not only himself but her cuteness as well he pulled her into his embrace, delicately kissing her face the same way she did to him last night.

"No regrets?" he asked through kisses.

"No regrets," she answered.  Leaning back to rest in his arms she began gently tracing her fingers along his chest.  While she did this he rolled her over under him and kissed her passionately.  Kagome's declaration was still ringing in his ears and his heart sang with contentment.

During a break of his lips exacting his tortuous movement she slid her hand to rest right on his stomach, above a now very familiar part of his anatomy.  

"Do you think about sex all the time?" she muttered, somewhat interested in his reaction.

"No, correction, I always think about making love to you."  She laughed and gave him a quick kiss.

"Not right now, you dork.  We have to get everything ready for my father's arrival party tomorrow."

And with another peck on his lips she left his room, leaving him alone.

"Cold shower," Sesshomaru thought, "Cold shower."

Kagome closed the door behind her and immediately started fiddling with her necklace.  In truth, she didn't really have to do much for her father's arrival.  But that was just it.  

Her father.

She wasn't quite sure how he would react to her being involved with the hired help.  

True, Sesshomaru wasn't just anyone, but still, her father wasn't exactly as open as she'd like.  And since the whole Inuyasha incident, Kagome could understand why.

And Inuyasha was another story.  His abrasive behavior rubbed her father the wrong way.  In fact, everything about Inuyasha rubbed her father the wrong way.  He was arrogant, rude, and had a total disregard for authority figures.  Perhaps that was needed in his profession though.

So Kagome needed to think of a plan to keep her father unaware of their activities behind closed doors.

"If only he knew…his only daughter in the week he was gone, killed the man she thought she loved, lost her virginity to her bodyguard, discovered his past and then found out he was the one she loved the whole time…" Kagome paused.

"Sheesh!  My life is a soap opera!  And with the whole "being in danger" part and you have got yourself a first class ticket to the Oprah Winfrey Show!"

Kagome sighed and lay down on her bed facing the ceiling.  How could she explain this to Sesshomaru?  They had just hit a bridge in their relationship, an overpass, a place where Kagome was comfortable being in his arms and sleeping in his bed.

She almost giggled at the fact that she seemed to please him greatly.  Last night she had woken up to him cuddling her tightly and nuzzling her neck.  All the while he murmured her name under his breath as if it was a prayer he couldn't stop chanting.  

Kagome almost cried then, hell, she wanted to laugh, dance and sing all at the same time.  Sesshomaru, a man whose past was more sorted than her own was still a boy at heart.  And that boy, she hoped, loved her deeply.  

After Kagome got over her insane happiness she had cuddled closer to him, holding him as tightly as he held her.  She was giving him what he was giving her.

Equally.

Something she never shared with Inuyasha.

It was getting harder and harder to think back on the good times with Inu. All Kagome could remember or thought of was the bad.  And it was getting harder and harder to believe that she had actually been in love with him.  

Thinking back on it, Kagome realized that she was probably more in love with the idea of having a boyfriend and being in love then actually feeling the emotion herself.

For certainly she never felt this incessant need to be with Inuyasha; this need that overrode all amorous thoughts and ideas and went to the heart of the matter, in her heart of hearts where only one man would reside for all time.  

Sesshomaru.

Kagome rushed out of her room, practically slamming the door off its hinges.  She bounded into Sesshomaru's room and caught him in the middle of zipping up his pants.  As if in slow motion he turned, facing her in all his glory.  His silver-white hair glowed in the sun piercing through his open window.  His unclothed chest rippled at his movements and the skin not unlike porcelain gleamed in its ethereal beauty.  

And then time began again as she launched herself into his arms, tumbling them both to the ground.  There she proceeded to kiss him—hard and full of passion.  She kissed his arms and chest and shoulders and back while he laughed when she tickled him with her tongue.

"Kagome, what brought this on?"  Sesshomaru asked, still laughing as she kissed and licked his elbow.

"I figured it out," she answered kissing up his arm to his neck.

"Figured what out?"  At the juncture between his neck and shoulder Kagome playfully bit him.

"That I love you…" Time stood still again, but now it was for Sesshomaru.  Kagome's eyes, deep and innocent, danced before his view.  He wanted to do so many things to account for his joy.  But silence reigned. 

And then doubt.

"What?" Sesshomaru bit out—_she couldn't have just…_

"I love you…IloveyouIloveyouIloveyou.  I love you more than the air I breathe to keep me alive or the sun that dances in the horizon.  I don't love you more than life itself.  Loving you is life itself."

At that moment, all the memories came rushing back: happy and sad, humorous and painful.

The first day he met her and she gave him the spiel about the history of her home that he later found out was a total lie…

The time she didn't get asked to Senior Prom and he pretended he was under instructions from her father to give her a good time and distract her from the dance…

The time she graduated from high school and that night she snuck into his room to eat snacks and watch movies together…

Or the time he found her crying on the couch and he comforted her, not knowing what was wrong…

And the time she threw him a surprise birthday party and made him wear a funny hat she made out of a paper bag…

And finally the time she almost kissed him in the gardens, before Inuyasha was even in the picture, and he pushed her away—even though he wanted so much to feel the soft texture of her luscious lips…

_I guess I loved her even then…but it took Inuyasha for me to realize that…_Sesshomaru thought delicately.  

"I love you too!" he blurted out, unable to contain the feeling any longer.

"I love you so much."  For once, words failed him and he kissed her, showing Kagome how he felt with actions instead of words.

His hands trailed all over her body as he laid her back down on the crumpled bed.  Soft and sweet kisses upon her lips were all he could manage as her words danced in his head and his hands removed her clothing.  

It was like the first time over again as he saw her beautiful body spread beneath him, her eyes alive with both desire and love.  Something he knew he needed from her most desperately.  

She removed his pants, kissing his skin when it appeared beneath his pants.  As Kagome pulled off his boxers she kissed and licked her way up to his quivering erection.  And with delicate precision she kissed his tip, for once wanting to give him all the pleasure he could experience.  

Gently she licked everywhere she could, believing for once that this was the most decadent treat she could ever receive.  And then she brought his head into her mouth, sucking and nipping.  Kagome almost smiled when Sesshomaru released an almost guttural moan.

Sess was having trouble remembering to breathe.  Her dark head between his thighs was one of the most arousing things he could think of.  Witch wasn't much help since he seemed to have lost his ability to think as well.  And as she began gliding her mouth over his penis he couldn't stop his hips from rising in anticipation.  

Kagome kept on sucking as if she was in a dream, not fully aware of her actions—or the consequences.  But Sesshomaru stopped her before she could finish her pleasure.

Her mouth was delicious…but Sess wanted another bliss from her sweet body.

Again Sesshomaru found himself between her exquisite thighs, teasing her entrance with the tip of his erection.

"Please, I want you inside me." Kagome choked out.  

Sesshomaru didn't argue as he plunged into her listless depths.

And as they joined once more in a dance known throughout times of old, Kagome could only think one thing:

But mustn't all good things come to an end?


	14. Chapter thirteen

Thank you for reviewing still.  Wow.  I am quite flattered.  This story means a lot to me because of the sentimental value of El Salvador.  So…sit back and enjoy the last few chapters.  And stay tuned after the last chapter for information on the real "Kagome" and her "father," Mr. White.  Continue to review!  Thanks.

-MC

_"Life seems nothing more than a quick succession of busy nothings."_

_                                                               -Mansfield Park_

Miroku was slightly disgruntled.  

"While those two are acting as if they just invented sex I am stuck here eating…oatmeal.  Now isn't that lovely?"

Just then a visitor from the heavens walked in, otherwise known as Sango.  

She always had enjoyed parties at the mansion and the day before a party, without fail, she would help Kagome with anything that was needed.  Basically it meant a day of girl talk while Sesshomaru lurked in the background, but Sango liked it all the same.  However, she had not accounted for a gorgeous half-naked man at the breakfast table and her expression proved it.

"Well, now, isn't this interesting?"  Miroku muttered under his breath.

"Uh…who are you?"  Sango managed to ground out.

"I could ask you the same thing, but since I am feeling generous today…my name is Miroku.  My business is my own, however.  And you are…?"

"Sango…however, my business is not my own…" she giggled softly at his aloof manner.  _I'm feeling generous today?  Honestly.  _"I am here to see Kagome. She has a party to plan and I intend to help her."

At that moment, however, Kagome was showering with a devilishly handsome man.  She was quite indisposed.  

"Umm…Sess," she murmured and he paused his soapy exertions to her back.

"I need to talk to you about something.  And I need you to be understanding…"

Sesshomaru nodded and leaned against the shower wall.  The water dripping down his body in small rivulets and his long silver-white hair plastered to his head made a very sensual sight.

Men this sexy should be made illegal.  He reminds me of a fallen angel… 

Kagome unconsciously licked her lips.  _Maybe this whole thing could wait…No, no, _she mentally berated herself.  _I need to talk to him about this.  Why does this infernal man have to be so damn sumptuous?_

"Well, you see…my father…"

"Yes, your father," he cut her off.  "I know.  He won't like this at all, I'm afraid."

Kagome was a little stunned, yes, it was completely true, and she should have known with Sesshomaru's stellar deductive skills he would have been five steps in front of her the entire time.

"No, he won't.  But we can secretly—"

"Secretly?  How?  I know you have your own wing, but seriously, Kagome, how can we keep it a secret?  Just right now not touching you is driving me crazy."  And he abandoned his post against the wall and pressed her into the opposite side.  Kagome moaned at the feeling of his entire length pushing into her, penetrating her entire being.

"You are the only woman for me, don't you ever doubt that…" he whispered in her ear as he nipped her neck.

"Yeah, I know.  I can feel it rammed into my stomach."  Kagome laughed when he slumped over her.

"You do know how to ruin the moment, ya know,"  Sess said cringing. 

"Ah, yes, but I'm quite good at reviving it…" she murmured as her hand glided down to his stomach and trailed a finger around the base of his member.  

"Yes, I agree," Sess choked out, desperately wanting Kagome to continue.  And she obliged by wrapping her hand around his steel length and pleasured him until he orgasmed almost painfully onto her stomach where it was quickly washed away by the running water.  Slumped over Kagome, Sess caught his breath before speaking.

"Darling, you truly know how to make me rather satisfied," and with that he leaned in to place a slow, marauding kiss upon her lips. 

"What are you doing to me?  I never have done any of the things I am doing now until I met you.  Last night…I…I don't know what came over me."  Kagome turned multiple shades of red at the remembrance of last night.

"Shh.  You were perfect.  I never imagined I would get a love confession, a blowjob and great sex all in one night.  You spoil me too much."  Kagome punched him hard in the stomach and he doubled over laughing.

Kagome began to leave the shower, but Sesshomaru caught her arm.

"Love, don't I get to return the favor…?" his eyes sparkling with mischief.

"Not now, Sess, or we won't leave the shower until you are "satisfied" numerous times…"

"Yes, well, that was the eventual plan."

"So you own up to consciously seducing me or at least planning to?"  Kagome said as she playfully punched his stomach again.  Growling in mock pain, he answered.

"Damn! You've discovered my plan!  Now I must kill you!"  He then gathered her in his arms and tickled her tirelessly.

"Okay! Okay! I give up!  Stop!  I'll do anything!"  Sess immediately stopped.

"Anything…?" he said as a sly grin broke out on is face.

"Not now, later.  Come on, we're getting all pruny…"

She left and turned off the shower and got herself a towel.

"Not now, not now.  Soon "later" is going to come and I don't care where we are!"

He playfully swatted her butt and began to dry himself off, thinking of any secluded area he could steal her off to.

The party was pretty much taken care of as Kagome suspected it would be.  So as usual she gossiped with Sango as Sesshomaru lingered in the background.  

The only hitch?  

Miroku.

Even though Sess was still relatively smug about Kagome's declaration and how she was now officially his he still couldn't forget his grudge against him.  He did kiss Kagome after all.  A couple of times he suspected.

But that wasn't what was truly bothering him.  If Sesshomaru was entirely honest with himself, which was occurring more and more frequently, he would know that the tow men who were watching Kagome and Miroku were top priority.

Yes, Miroku and he were trained in the art of war—it wasn't their end he had worries about.  

It was the plain and cold hard truth that he not only knew those men, but he had once worked with them in the past. 

It was on his "visit" to the Americas for higher learning and he did a stupid job with them.  He bumped off some drug lord and got a little money in his pocket.  Well, more like, he hunted and got the two men near enough to the drug lord to shoot.

Sesshomaru usually didn't associate with trash like that, but they had him fully convinced when they informed him Naraku Higoshama was behind the job.

Naraku Higoshama was not a man to mess with in any situation.  

So he did the job and tried to disappear.  But now these men were back.  And not only were they here for him, it now seemed, but they were also here for Kagome.

Which, again, did not bode well with him to say the least.

That night was a quiet one in the household for Miroku had taken Sango out and everyone had been let off early to rest and prepare for the party.

Kagome was alone with Sesshomaru.  As she joined him in bed that night she was not met with the fires of ardor as she had expected.  Instead he just spooned her against him and buried his face into her neck.  

Kagome sighed at his actions and settled herself deeper into his embrace.  And for that moment she allowed herself to forget all her misgivings and worries.  She was loved now.  She was wanted.

And her father coming home tomorrow had nothing to do with that exact moment right then.  

Right now she was with Sesshomaru…

And Sesshomaru was left to his memories.__


	15. Chapter fourteen

Hey minna!  This is the pivotal chapter in the story.  There are only two more chapters left, and they will be posted together to relieve any confusion.  They won't be coming out for a couple of days, so be patient and review!  Thank you for your support and please make sure to catch the notes at the end of the story.  They are important AND interesting!  Thanks.

Ja ne,

-MC

"He was laughing under his breath, like a cruel wolf, as he leaned over and lit his last cigarette.  Books play that kind of trick, he thought.  And everyone gets the devil he deserves."

_                                                      -The Club Dumas_

Manchester House was in a tumult of activity.  In fact, to be completely correct, it was pure insanity.  Kagome's father was to arrive any moment and she was still placing out the hors de vours.  It wasn't her job, but she felt as if she had to do something.

If she didn't, she might go crazy with nervousness.  Would her father be able to sense everything that went on when he was gone?

Bring her hand up to finger her locket she huffed in annoyance when a foreign hand pulled her fingers away from their anxious habit.  

Sesshomaru.

That was the fifth time he had done it that morning.

"Really, t least I don't jingle the keys in my pockets!"  It was like old times for a moment, and Kagome almost yearned for the simpler periods where everything wasn't as confusing.  But that thought was quickly forgotten when Sess drew her into a comforting and possessive hug.

"I do believe it is tradition to hug your father after her arrives from a trip, and not your bodyguard who you've seen everyday…but I could just be old fashioned…"

Kagome abruptly pushed away from Sesshomaru and ran into her father's arms.

"Papa!  Como esta usted?  Mi favorito amigo.  Bienvenidos a su casa!"  Kagome and her father continued to joke in Spanish while Sesshomaru felt forgotten on the sidelines.  About after five minutes [Necissita una bebida?] he left the happy family alone to tend to the arriving guest and survey the scene for any glimpse of the two men.

However, he was out of luck, and Sesshomaru resumed to slinking in the background.  He listened joyously to Kagome weave her story about the house.

"Yes, this is from the late 18th Century, in fact.  Many houses in that era were used as summerhouses but since New York has always been a city this happened to be a town house with many previous owners.  I believe the most prominent were Thomas Jefferson and Kilgore Trout."

"Kilgore Trout?"  Someone asked.

"Yes, he is an out-of-date science fiction writer, but supposedly the best mind of his time."

"Fascinating…"

Sesshomaru laughed at this.  _Kilgore Trout?  The always-hilarious Kurt Vonnegut's fictional alter ego?  Really, Kagome!_

"This mansion was renamed a bit in when Kilgore Trout owned it…he preferred it to be called The House of Cyclone Bill, dedicated to his pet parakeet…. but the true and remaining name is Foxglove Mansion.  As you can see here we have a…"

But Kagome was interrupted with the dinner bell.  _Good thing too…someday she is going to be caught in her lies and no one will be able to save her, _Sesshomaru laughed to himself.

As dinner was about to be served there was a commotion in the entrance hall.  In burst a slightly agitated man of about twenty-three years.  

Sesshomaru drew in a quick breath and had to stop himself from gasping audibly.  _What was he…?_

"Naraku!" Kagome cried merrily to the young man.  "We thought you had forgotten us!" Kagome smiled sweetly.  

Sesshomaru inwardly cringed…_what the hell is he…?_

As Naraku crossed to Kagome he said, 

"No, no.  Just a little problem at the office.  I could never miss one of Senor White's parties."  He bent down and kissed Kagome lightly on the cheek before sitting down next to her.  As he brought his wineglass to his lips, Naraku's eyes sparkled mischievously in Sesshomaru's direction.

Sesshomaru's mind was reeling.  Naraku Higoshima here, under his roof, kissing Kagome as if he belonged there.

But as he glanced back at Naraku and Kagome were deep in conversation, Sesshomaru had to admit he did belong there, by Kagome's side.

At least belonged there more than he did.

He remembered Kagome speaking of a well-off friend she had known since childhood.  She had innocently called him "Ku."

A nickname.

For Naraku Higoshima.

The biggest and most corrupt crime boss in New York City.

"How…intimate…" Sess thought.  Even though Kagome had nicknamed him as well, "Ku" would still come first.  And judging by her father's countenance, he wouldn't object to a future union between these two childhood friends.

And then, and then it finally struck him.

Childhood friends.

She had said they had been childhood friends—in El Salvador.

The two men.

Naraku's little "job."  

White card from Miroku.

White card from Miroku! His mind screamed as he darted out of the dining hall and up to the stairs.  Sess burst into the guestroom to find that Miroku had Sango in a very compromising position. 

Grabbing Miroku roughly by the arms he delivered two swift kicks to his stomach.  Sesshomaru then dragged the stunned man into an empty room and pressed him face forward into the wall—continuing to keep a very tight grip on his arms.

"What the fuck is the connection to El Salvador, Miroku?"  Miroku made a muffled gasp against the wall.

"What? I can't hear you.  Tell me what the fuck you meant with the white card that said "El Salvador"!"

Miroku feebly tried to fight back, but Sesshomaru was more experienced than he.

"Na…Naraku.  Naraku is the connection."

"So, let me get this straight.  Tell me if I get anything wrong," he twisted Miroku's arm as proof of his superiority in strength and situation.

"You get out of the monastery and high tail it to America.  You sell yourself like Inuyasha did and you end up getting involved with Naraku.  It's inevitable.  Dirty dealings lead to him.  So, you get stuck in his service.  Fine.  But why did he want to kill Kagome?  Why did he send Inuyasha to kill her father?  Why did he want you to tip us?  Tell me damn it!"

Miroku mumbled a little.

"What?"

"Go now.  To 64th and Third.  He has her there now.  Go.  All your questions will be answered.  Go."

Sesshomaru was about to sprint out of the room when Miroku turned and smiled devilishly at him.  It wasn't a pretty smile with the blood trickling down his lip and onto his pressed Armani suit.

"But watch out, Sesshomaru, I may have done my job, but have you?  You fell in love…don't let it get to your head."

And with a panic Sesshomaru ran downstairs only to find the party deserted.  But on further inspection, he found shoes poking out from under the table.  What met his eyes was hardly a surprise.

Senator White, dead.

A warning death.  Simple tactic when dealing with disgusting characters like Naraku.

And before he knew it, Sesshomaru was loading himself with artillery from his personal collection.  

Anything.

He had to be prepared for anything.

Kagome was alive if he had anything to do about it!

Sesshomaru then sped off into the night.  He tried to be prepared for anything.

But nothing would have prepared him for what lay in store…

The Club Dumas by Aruturo Perez-Reverte is the best book I have ever read.  I seriously recommend it.  And I got the "quote" thing at the beginning of each chapter from him.

_-MC_


	16. Chapter fifteen

Here are the two last chapters. Thank you all for reviewing and please continue reviewing.  

-MC

**_My Last Breath_**

**_Evanescence_**_  
  
hold on to me love  
you know i can't stay long  
all i wanted to say was i love you and i'm not afraid  
can you hear me?  
can you feel me in your arms?  
  
holding my last breath  
safe inside myself  
are all my thoughts of you  
sweet raptured light it ends here tonight  
  
i'll miss the winter  
a world of fragile things  
look for me in the white forest  
hiding in a hollow tree (come find me)  
i know you hear me  
i can taste it in your tears  
  
holding my last breath  
safe inside myself  
are all my thoughts of you  
sweet raptured light it ends here tonight  
  
closing your eyes to disappear  
you pray your dreams will leave you here  
but still you wake and know the truth  
no one's there  
  
say goodnight  
don't be afraid  
calling me calling me as you fade to black_

"And she wonders if, in the dark place to which she is heading, there will be enough mercy to erase from her mind the final shreds of memory."

                                                                        -The Flanders Panel

Kagome didn't really know what was going on.  At first she had been enjoying her dinner with Naraku and her father when Sesshomaru disappeared.  Initially it was fine, her father's guards were there, as were Naraku's…and she was in her own home.  But then her father's guards were gone and the guests seemed to have just vanished into thin air.  Kagome felt slightly woozy as the world tipped on its side and she fell into a deep sleep.

After that she awoke to a light shining bright in her face.

_Typical kidnapping/questioning technique, _she thought, _how quaint.  And that drug they slipped into my drink worked quite well.  Lucky me._

As Kagome glanced around she smarted from the wounds she received in her transport.  _Absolutely Fabulous, and there is nothing British about this, _she grimaced.  

Kagome was about to try to move again when a shadow danced across the bright beam.  Her eyes blinked and watered with the quick change of lighting and with the figure in front of the light as it were made it impossible to distinguish any features.  Male or female?  Definitely male.  And then the figure spoke.

"It is so tempting to go with the typical 'ah, so you have awoken' line.  No wonder it is so clichéd.  It just comes naturally…"

The voice was deep and silky, not silky soft and comforting like Sesshomaru's, but the kind of silk that could wrap itself around your neck and choke you before you knew it.

"Naraku?"

"Bingo, Kagome, my dear.  Here, let me get you out of these restraints.  Sesshomaru will be here soon."

"Why am I here anyways?  Does this have to do with El Salvador?"

"All in good time, my sweet, all in good time."  He had discarded the ties that previously held her hands and sat down in front of the beam again, so Kagome could not read his expressions. 

Shots could be heard and gradually they were coming closer.  However, Naraku didn't seemed fazed at all, in fact, judging by the light chuckle, he seemed quite amused by the whole arrangement.  Kagome was still piecing things together but it was all still a jigsaw puzzle in her mind.

Was Naraku the connection to El Salvador?

"By the way, Kagome, do you love Sesshomaru?"  Her imperceptible nod seemed sufficient to him.  Kagome didn't like it one bit.

Something carelessly blew the door opposite Kagome off its hinges.  And through the fuzzy light, where the door used to be, framed in all his glory, was Sesshomaru.  The glint in his eyes gleamed in the darkness and the .44-millimeter was cocked in his hand.  At that moment, Kagome realized that she would never want to be in his line of fire.

"Ah, now that we are all here…please…take a seat."

Sesshomaru absently wiped some blood off his chin before sitting down where Naraku had motioned.  He glanced and Kagome and almost sighed with relief that she looked unharmed.  Not wanting to show his weakness in front of Naraku, even though it was probably fruitless since he had rushed in here getting to Kagome, Sesshomaru decided to not comfort her with a touch.  

"Now, I am sure you are both wondering why you are here.  But before we start, I have something to tell Kagome."  Naraku smiled wolfishly at Sesshomaru before he took Kagome's hand in his.

"Kagome, my darling, your father is dead."

Ripping her hand away from him Kagome tried to stand but was roughly pushed back down by Naraku.  This resulted in Sesshomaru standing, but was cut off.

"Please, stay back.  We are talking and it doesn't involve the paid help.  I will get to you in a second."

Sesshomaru burned with anger but quickly fought it down.  Naraku knew how to push his buttons and was only trying to rile him up. 

Kagome was shocked, to say the least.  But nothing prepared her for what was to come.

"He was killed by the brothers of the men who murdered your mother.  Doesn't it seem fitting?"

"W-what?"  _How is that possible…?_

"Kagome, I have a lot of explaining to do.  Here, I will bring Sesshomaru over and you two can hold each other while I break the news, alright?"  There was something strange in his request, but Kagome didn't argue as she was brought into the tight embrace of Sesshomaru.

"Yes, now the time has come.  Do, tell me, Kagome, have you heard of the School of Americas?"  

Kagome visibly flinched at the name.  She nodded.

"I thought so.  You see this school was designed to train soldiers from other countries to be able to defend themselves in cases of war or possible communistic take-overs.  However, this school seemed to train the soldiers of the El Salvadoran army exactly how to kill and pillage any town or city effectively.  And that is what these soldiers did during the civil war.  Isn't that right?"

Kagome nodded again, tears streaming down her face.  Sesshomaru had no idea where this was heading, but he was sure it wasn't good.  He gripped Kagome tighter.

"Yes, but that is not all they did, is it?  They also assassinated the six Jesuits that night.  And your mother…and your little sister."

Kagome's grip on Sesshomaru's back tensed.

"But did you know that Sesshomaru was involved in that school as well?"

Kagome immediately let go of Sesshomaru and stared at him in shock.  

"You see?  My favorite playmate of old matched with her ultimate enemy?  Even I am impressed with how well it worked out.  Kagome, my darling, you are in love with a man who actively participated in the School of Americas special programs in Japan.  The school of soldiers that killed your mother and your little sister.  So, can you tell me you love him now?"

"But Japan hates America…" Sesshomaru trailed off.  He couldn't have…

"You are grasping at loose straws, Sesshomaru, it is inevitable you should at least catch one…but it seems you are doomed to blindness.  A sad failing in your field."

"It's true though…" Kagome whispered, trying not to believe what she just heard.

"No, my dear.  You know as well as I that America didn't really win the fight with Japan.  Japan would have fought until their last breath, but alas, it was impossible.  It was just so in the war with the British and the colonies.  Britain didn't want to send over more men and so the war ended.  What could happen?  they thought.  I bet the old bags are rolling in their graves now.  So, in the treaty, Japan was granted a special program of young soldiers who were trained in the art of war.  But those American presidents are going to be rolling in their graves when Japan presents them with their newest edition.  And my what a healthy specimen he is…"

Something was not clicking with Sesshomaru.  He tried to ask Kagome but she flinched from his grasp.  

"Kagome…? What is wrong…" the pain was evident in his voice.

"Please, please, just give me a minute."  Tears were running down her cheeks and she could barely stay seated she felt so faint.  

But Naraku wasn't finished yet.

"So, did you enjoy our little game?  I thought it was a beautiful construction myself.  Originally Inuyasha wasn't in the picture, but they decided he was a sacrifice they could deal with.  But loosing you…that would not be impossible."

"Who?"

"Are you still not there yet?  I thought I gave you enough clues.  The masters.  They were a little iffy on your tactics but you've made them proud.  And now all you have to do to pass and finally become  the only graduate of the school is to kill your precious Kagome.  The same Kagome who, judging by her reaction to you just now, is clumping you with the men who murdered and raped her mother…and killed her sister."

Sesshomaru stopped breathing.  _The masters?  The masters have been testing me this whole time?  I never escaped them?  Then that means Miroku AND Naraku are working for them…_

"Why would you do this to me?" Kagome suddenly yelled, "I thought of you as a brother!  After my family was killed you—"

"Yes, Kagome!  After your family was killed mine was killed too!  But the guerrillas killed them.  And isn't it funny that I met up with the men during business in Japan who could not only help me get my revenge on those worthless peasants in El Salvador but also make me quite rich as well.  The only price they asked was to establish a task worthy enough for their star pupil.  And my what a job I did…"

"No!  No you couldn't have done this…I…" and she was caught in Sesshomaru's embrace once more.  He glanced down at her and started to remember a night he shared in her bed not two days ago. 

_         "Is it all for naught, then?" he murmured, glancing at the woman, a vision of loveliness next to him.  He gently brushed back the bangs from her face and snuggled closer to her, needing to feel her against him.  As she wrapped her arms about his waist and her legs intertwined with his own, Sesshomaru allowed himself a small sigh. _

_"I love you," she murmured throughout the night air, her whimsical voice cascading through the room like a waterfall in her beautiful and devastated homeland.  _

He could never kill this woman.  She was his.  And he was hers.  For eternity.

Naraku knew he wouldn't have been able to kill her. 

"Yes, well, we can't have the lady stay with you…"

And Naraku shot Kagome once through the stomach.  

Sesshomaru was to her in an instant.

"Kagome, love, hold on.  Hold on…" he helplessly used his shirt to stop the wound as he turned on Naraku.

"How could you?"

"Simple.  Japan needs you.  Without her, you can go back.  I'm sure you would have grasped that stra—"

"Grasp this straw."

And Sesshomaru shot him three times in the heart.  Death was instantaneous.

Sesshomaru then rushed back to Kagome.

"Please, hold on.  I'll get you help."

"Naraku…?"  she whispered.

"I killed him.  I don't care.  I can run from the masters.  He was the connection.  Now he is gone…please, just don't talk."

"Sess, Sess, I love you.  I never thought you were like those soldiers…. I love you so much."  Kagome said just under a murmur.

"No, please.  You can't go.  I just found you.  You were the only one who could melt my ice heart.  If you go, whats stopping me from freezing again?"

"Sess, there is nothing we can do.  Go…live."  

"How can I live without you?  Please…please…"

He desperately kissed her lips, which were rapidly getting colder by the moment.  Holding her body tightly against him, Sesshomaru cried tears, for the first and last time in his life, he cried.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Blood dripped.  All she could see, feel, touch and taste was the vermilion liquid dripping…dripping.  And then…

Darkness.

_It is said your life flashes before your eyes when you die…_

_-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_


	17. Chapter sixteen

"This is not a fairy tale.  This is not the movies.  This is life.  It hurts more.  It's excruciating.  It's excruciatingly beautiful."

_                                             -Violet and Claire_

Sesshomaru awoke, a cold sweat shining on his body.  His breathing was a bit labored and he could hardly move for the pain.  Of what?  The answer lay deep within him.

_"Is it all for naught, then?" he murmured, glancing at the woman, a vision of loveliness next to him.  He gently brushed back the bangs from her face and snuggled closer to her, needing to feel her against him.  As she wrapped her arms about his waist and her legs intertwined with his own, Sesshomaru allowed himself a small sigh. _

_"I love you," she murmured throughout the night air, her whimsical voice cascading through the room like a waterfall in her beautiful and devastated homeland.  _

"No, no," Sesshomaru murmured.  "Love is not all for naught then…"

For God Knows even angels fall….

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  
**  
****_ Even Angels Fall_**_   
  
You've found hope   
You've found faith,   
Found how fast she could take it away.   
Found true love,   
Lost your heart.   
Now you don't know who you are.   
  
She made it easy,   
Made it free,   
Made you hurt til you couldn't see.   
Sometimes it stops,   
Sometimes it flows,   
But baby that is how love goes.   
  
You will fly and you will crawl;   
God knows even angels fall.   
No such thing as you lost it all.   
God knows even angels fall.   
  
It's a secret no one tells;   
One day it's heaven, one day it's hell.   
It's no fairy tale;   
Take it from me,   
That's the way it's supposed to be.   
  
You will fly and you will crawl;   
God knows even angels fall.   
No such thing as you lost it all.   
God knows even angels fall.   
  
You laugh, you cry, no one knows why   
Behold the thrill of it all...   
You're on the ride   
You might as well   
Open your eyes   
  
You will fly and you will crawl;   
God knows even angels fall.   
No such thing as you lost it all.   
God knows even angels fall.   
Even angels fall   
Even angels fall_

_-----Jessica Riddle_

So, I hope you all enjoyed my fic.  It took a long time and the reason why it took so long to post the ending was because I was trying to figure out how to end it.  I hope people don't kill me.

And…I am planning another Kagome/Sesshomaru fic that will, I promise, turn out better than this one did.  Watch out for it…it will be coming out soon!  Thanks!

But enough of that.  The real reason I have this not is because I want to educate you on the real Kagome and the life people in El Salvador must face.

I based Kagome off of the woman's daughter who saw the six Jesuits being murdered.  The daughter was only about three at the time, but she was there.  Along with the murdering of the six Jesuits, the Jesuit's cook and her daughter were also murdered in the UCA, the largest college in El Salvador.  The date was November 16, 1989.  

So, I will just add this bit of a presentation I wrote on my experience to El Salvador.  I hope you can see the truth from my eyes.  It was written a while ago…so the events aren't recent…

If you would like to read further into this…two books I recommend are

One Day of Life by Manilio Argueta

and…

The Massacre at El Mozote by Mark Danner

They are truthful, but intense.  I wouldn't read them unless you have a strong stomach and a true interest.  And now for my presentation…

"You don't know the whole story.  Bien.  But this is what I know.  This is what I saw."  John, our contact and leader in El Salvador spoke those immortal words this past summer on our two-week stay.  After the most intense trip of my life, I hardly knew how to begin to describe what I felt in that country.  The only glimmer of understanding I can bestow is in letter format, written 2 days after I returned. I wrote this letter to my friend, Sarah, after she asked me to explain the trip to her.  It is very much an immediately after-the-fact letter, but I feel it accurately portrays the feelings that still stir in my heart about El Salvador.  So I share it with you.

Dear Sarah, 

Well, I don't know what to say. El Salvador was an experience to remember. I had laughter, and good times, and there were some sad times as well. I learned so many things that I cannot even begin to process all the information that has been forced upon me in such a short time. But here goes nothing.  
Going to El Salvador taught me beauty. I have a renewed respect for everything around me. In that country, everyone is beautiful for whom they are, not what they look like. You can't imagine what a different place it is. The simplest things are beautiful. The smile on people's faces, the way everyone says hello to you on the street, the way the children love to talk and play with you even though they speak better Spanish than you ever will. The way the people sell their wares at the market, the way they make tortillas and rice, the way they wash clothes. The scenery is even more beautiful, with its luscious trees; everything is so green and full of life, vibrant. And the stars, the stars are wonderful. So clear and full of light.   
And El Salvador taught me about life. No matter what has happened to these people, the Civil War in their country, the fight for their lives, the awful torture they survived, their outlook never changes. They are happy with what they have, and just happy to be alive. It makes my struggles seem petty and unimportant. I remember having issues about my clothes and my body. It just made me think. These people fight to live each day. Each day is another struggle, another burden, and they face it with a smile, a laugh, a hug. And I must admit, I compared lives. I compared our material assets, our homes, and our schools. What hurt me the most was the comparison of relationships. In other areas, where I thought I clearly came out the better, there seemed a lacking in this category. With families crammed into one room together has brought them closer than I would ever be with any of my family, maybe even my future husband. And it wasn't just the physical intimacy they had; it was the emotional intimacy as well. They sincerely cared about each other. Not just family members, but friends as well.   
And El Salvador taught me about myself. It stripped away petty feelings, and heartaches, and stupid crushes. It taught me how to really love. And not romantic love, but I know this may sound cheesy, but agape. Agape is meant for everyone, no matter what they do or say to you. And it is truly a beautiful thing when you can love your enemies. And that is what the Salvadoreanos did, they loved us, the Americans, the gringos who funded and trained the soldiers who murdered, raped and pillaged their country.   
And El Salvador taught me to hurt. It showed me true suffering, true loss, true pain, true torture. The pictures of the six Jesuit priests who were brutally murdered by soldiers are still vivid in my mind. Blood, carnage and pieces of bodies everywhere. I remember thinking that this was the most disgusting thing that I have ever seen, and I would never wish that on my worst enemy, not even the murderer or rapist of a close family member or friend. And how could soldiers do this to someone they don't even know, who were peaceful, who were fighting a fight for freedom?  
And finally, El Salvador taught me about trust. In the town of Guarjila, where there are ex soldiers and ex guerilla fighters, I felt safe with my Tamarindos and their family. Even when we were driving in San Salvador, which is like a larger and more chaotic San Francisco, I felt safe with Gio as our driver. He made crazy maneuvers, decided stoplights were optional, and I still felt safe. I trusted my story and my heart with my family, and everyone on the trip with me. I trusted my well being in everyone around me, and they took care of me; body and soul. I may not have connected with everyone on the trip, but I will always feel a special bond with these people that only we can share. We traveled to a foreign country, we shared our stories, we shared our lives for two weeks. None of us had to be there; it was something we all chose. And I would trust my life with any of them. And that is because of agape. Because of the people. Because of El Salvador.   
I have learned so much, I cannot process everything at one time, but this wisdom has many years to percolate in my mind, in my soul, in my heart. And I promise to share everything I learn. 

Always your friend,

MC

Even after all that, I still don't know the whole story.  And neither do you.  El Salvador isn't the fairyland I once believed it to be.  It is a real country with real problems and real people who have to face them.  I cannot put these people on a pedestal because of what they survived.  I can only relate and share their story.  And I am accomplishing this by standing here today. 

I sometimes feel the only tangible evidence of our trip is a few knick-knacks we bought, a quote book, some obscure drawings by the children of our families, and a journal.  But whenever I see the people who went with me, I realize that we all are the tangible evidence of our trip.  John urged us that "our job is to tell the truth."  We are all here, offering the truth of our experience.  It may not be the same as everyone else's, but this was mine.  Like John said, "this is what I know.  This is what I saw."  

Thank you.

And now I share my story with you.  Thank you for reading.

-MC


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